• 💖 [Donate To Keep MyPTSD Online] 💖 Every contribution, no matter how small, fuels our mission and helps us continue to provide peer-to-peer services. Your generosity keeps us independent and available freely to the world. MyPTSD closes if we can't reach our annual goal.

Living Next To A Battered Woman

Status
Not open for further replies.
I can hear her through the walls when she screams and he screams. I hear things breaking. I hear when she screams for someone to call the police, but then when I call the police they won't come.

Everytime this happens I just end up sobbing in corners, thinking about being so very young and having my mother cry and scream against my abusive father. Their screaming triggers flashbacks. It's so painful to listen to. They're screaming again now.

I don't know what to do. I can't move. I can't fix it for her.

I just want them to stop.
 
Too many DV calls at this address, I guess.

I'm not always sure that the police is the answer, because I know she will just deny it all. And, I wonder if the police visit might actually make things worse.

I just hate listening and not knowing what to do.
 
I wonder if maybe someone from social services would come, or maybe someone from a women's shelter? Not during the violence, but maybe there is someone willing to reach out when the woman is home alone. As for police, you should be able to file a complaint if they won't come, or speak to someone higher up to explain the situation. I guess it all depends on how involved you want to get, and honestly, I'm not sure it's a good idea to get involved at all. It sounds like a truly terrible situation, and I'm sorry you're stuck right next to it. I hope these people don't have kids living there.
 
Taking care of yourself is all you can do. Do you have earbuds and music to listen to instead. I know that sounds heartless, but if she won't accept the help when the police do come, then you have to protect yourself from how it is making you feel...I am sorry you can't move and have to endure this all the time... So miserable to feel we are trapped... prayers for peace and for you to find a way to take care of yourself ... sending gentle hugs.
 
that is a major 'trigger'. and could lead to serious mental health issues. why dont you file some sort of report? are there any other alternatives to crying or suffering through it? can you talk to someone who can get an affirmative stance on this issue? Think, there must be a way out of it.

Why dont the police respond to this? this is a domestic abuse issue, the police are supposed to exist for these purposes (safety, security). otherwise, they are pretty much useless

as for yourself, try to recognize the time that they start this. walk outside and go to a safe place, where you cannot hear them.

but i dont think you should ignore this issue, you should most definitely work on some alternative option. what is happening to that poor lady is illegal, and someone should do something about it.
 
Hi Shadowof...I am sorry you have such stressor in your home. The question I would ask is if there is a possibility you could move to a different apartment in the complex? You might get farther if you have an advocate for the request...is this something you might be able to do?
Hoping for your security soon
 
I wonder if maybe someone from social services would come, or maybe someone from a women's shelter?

This already happened. Someone helped her move out, but then a few weeks later she moved back in. It is heartbreaking.

I'm not sure it's a good idea to get involved at all.

This is where I've landed. I spoke to her once in the hallway and she just told me that everything was fine, with that tight-lipped smile that I knew meant that she wasn't going to talk to me. And, I'm enough of a wreck on my own; I'm not sure I can really be of help to anyone else.

as for yourself, try to recognize the time that they start this. walk outside and go to a safe place, where you cannot hear them

It happens at such weird times. Mostly the morning - I often wake up to it. Aside from never being home, leaving isn't a good option.

The question I would ask is if there is a possibility you could move to a different apartment in the complex? You might get farther if you have an advocate for the request...is this something you might be able to do?
Hoping for your security soon

I don't think I can move. This apartment is all I can afford and it is such an accomplishment for me - last spring, I was technically homeless. Plus, there is the possibility of neighbors being like this wherever I land. I also moved three times last year and I'm not sure I can take the stress of boxing things up and running away yet again.

Thank you all for your support. I don't mean to sound negative and like there is nothing to be done, but it really feels that way sometimes ...
 
@theshadowoftheliving
You don't sound negative at all.
I get the need to hold on to the ground you've gained, last year was like that for me as well...you do though have rights as a renter..look them up..so you can try to keep some boundaries in place.
Hate to say this but I'm going to pray for them to move and a great new neighbor to replace them...I'll be putting some thoughts into this..take care
 
Likewise @theshadowoftheliving, prayers for you to have some peace. Hold on to your hard earned home. Nothing the Landlord can do? Maybe move them? And you are not being negative. just honest about the situation.
 
Plus, there is the possibility of neighbors being like this wherever I land. I also moved three times last year and I'm not sure I can take the stress of boxing things up and running away yet again.
Sadly, this is very true. I've lived in a lot of different places and this is tragically common. The only thing you can really do is develop a solid way to cope with it when it does happen. Maybe earplugs or listening to music on your headphones? Or even a book on tape or something like that .. Ugh, sorry, I don't really have any great advice. But I am frustrated for you.
 
@ladee @Chimera I Havent spoken to the landlord ... They are a huge slumlord company and its hard enough to get them to fix basic things (like no water in the bathroom for two weeks) so I guess I just have no faith in them. But it's probably worth a call.

I always feel so terrible turning up the music or whatever when they are fighting, but it might be the only choice.

I just wish I could help her.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top