Eleanor
MyPTSD Pro
I have been thinking a lot about how we get "better." And one problem I have both as a wife and a mother is that I just don't really KNOW what "good" or "healthy" is supposed to look like. I got the wrong habits from my parents. My H got appalling habits from his. So what SHOULD we do, knowing we shouldn't do those things?
When my daughter was born I looked and looked (still do) for good information on healthy parenting. I found lots of stuff on motor and language developmental milestones, and some on cognitive and social milestones, but almost nothing on emotional ones. I found lots and lots of descriptions of bad parenting practices - I know enough about that thank you so much - but not much, hardly any narrative accounts of good parenting. Or marriage.
I am asking for examples of good marriages and parenting in novels, biographies t.v. shows and movies.
Here is an example. I love N.C.I.S. Why? In part because one of the core issues in our family is handling anger and learning to handle anger. The main characters in NCIS all have character flaws. Gibbs over the years has gotten a lot better - gone from being driven by rage (albeit mostly on a tight rein) to being much more flexible and nuanced in his responses. Tony, well, that is a long complicated story, but he's gotten better too. When I go into difficult situations where I am likely to either fold or get really really angry and do/say stupid stuff I 'invoke" Gibbs - I prime myself to act like him. And it works. I do much better, I stay calmer, I am not so reactive. I talk less (good since I tend to talk a LOT when uncomfortable.)
A friend of mine really like the marriage in Field of Dreams.
What models do you have? Suggestions?
When my daughter was born I looked and looked (still do) for good information on healthy parenting. I found lots of stuff on motor and language developmental milestones, and some on cognitive and social milestones, but almost nothing on emotional ones. I found lots and lots of descriptions of bad parenting practices - I know enough about that thank you so much - but not much, hardly any narrative accounts of good parenting. Or marriage.
I am asking for examples of good marriages and parenting in novels, biographies t.v. shows and movies.
Here is an example. I love N.C.I.S. Why? In part because one of the core issues in our family is handling anger and learning to handle anger. The main characters in NCIS all have character flaws. Gibbs over the years has gotten a lot better - gone from being driven by rage (albeit mostly on a tight rein) to being much more flexible and nuanced in his responses. Tony, well, that is a long complicated story, but he's gotten better too. When I go into difficult situations where I am likely to either fold or get really really angry and do/say stupid stuff I 'invoke" Gibbs - I prime myself to act like him. And it works. I do much better, I stay calmer, I am not so reactive. I talk less (good since I tend to talk a LOT when uncomfortable.)
A friend of mine really like the marriage in Field of Dreams.
What models do you have? Suggestions?