I had a really tough night sleeping last night. I have gotten to a point where I wake up in the middle of the night not having a clue of where I am. It is very frustrating and frightening. When I do sleep I will have nightmares, I have reoccuring one where I am in a combat zone running and when I get to a point where I stop and raise my riffle to defend myself it is not there, I usually wake shortly after. I think the rough night came as a result of alot of added stress and arguing last night. I had called in sick because I just felt like I would not make it through the day ( I am having more and more of those days lately), I do mortgage banking so end of month is a chaotic. I really feel that I cant function at work anymore. I cant just up and leave my job but I feel that if I dont do something about it soon it will be the end of me. I feel very very stuck and see no way out of this. On top of all that I feel that the people that are trying to be there for me only aggravate me when I really need time to cool down. I am fighting to be strong and deal with everything but its hard... and I feel that as time goes on I am getting more an more depressed. I am so lost!!