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Mad At My Doctor

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So this is an odd feeling. My doctor has been an amazing help through this, but after being on vacation for two weeks (I am in the middle of CBT, which he told me not to interrupt/miss sessions or face setbacks), I find myself angry with him. Everyone deserves a break, especially military doctors, but I find myself angry nonetheless. I feel abandoned, betrayed, and lost. Yesterday I proclaimed I was done: I was done with medications and treatment, I would just live with my nightmares and bottle it all back up, because I could function before. I had no emotions but I could function in my professional life. I still feel this way, but I don't know what to do now. Has anyone else experienced something similar? Please post if you have and are comfortable doing so.
 
Therapists are humans too and they deserve break.
Two weeks honestly is not that long for a decent break. I understand a lot how you feel. My T was at vacation for 11 weeks last summer, and she is going to this one. It is simply something I needed to accepted all along with everything which she is.
I felt very abandoned too despite she was there for me vie emails. So I know very good that feeling, and I can say I wasn't angry but I have all in all issues with feeling of anger so I guess it was the reason.
Just try to say yourself that if he is a good fit for a therapist you would be comfortable again with sessions once he is back. Honestly there isn't that therapist in the world who would not take a break sometimes.
You are the one to decide whether to stay with him or not, but I suggest you to give that relation a chance as a break during holidays is really something very common and usual.
Don't do bad to yourself only by stopping with sessions/medications, it won't bring you anything good.
 
In the sincerest way, I relate to your misery. My doctor's vacations come at such inconvenient times; it would only be fair that my symptoms could take a vacation at the same time..

To get through it, I reassuringly console myself by reminding myself that I am important, that life isn't fair, and that I can still make it due to my tenacity, this forum, and leaning on the support of some Alanon groups.

I hope you find support during his absence. Can you think of anything that will help?
 
I do keep a journal type of thing, and my GF is very supportive and understanding, which helps immensely. Doctor should be back tomorrow hopefully.
 
Has anyone else experienced something similar?

Yes, a few times. I thought I was loosing my therapist last year due to an insurence hole and because I antisapated (though it never happened) I stuffed it all and numb it all (it was mostly automatic) as I couldn't function like I was without therapy. It took my therapist a good while to pull it all back out.

I say don't stuff and rely on the tools of CBT and maybe DBT. Rely on the coping skills you have learned thus far until your doctor comes back. Its ok to be angry with him. Thats an emotion and deserves its own space. But just try not to stuff if you can.
 
I'm sorry @Sailor_Jerry89! I didn't realize we still had troops deployed but I also don't watch the news so I wouldn't know if we sent troops back out.

I am sure that is really hard and I am sure compartmentalizing is something done with most people that get deployed. I do it automatically. I wouldn't suggest it but at least it "boxes" away certian things and I numb those "boxes" so I can function at work and stuff.

Try not to stuff if you can as its so hard to pull that back out to then work on it when he comes back. But I do understand why you'd want to or even need to.

:hug:s to you if you accept. And thank you for serving!
 
I appreciate the support. You have been helpful: sometimes you need to just hear different opinions to better understand your own. Thank you again.

As for troops deployed, we have always had people deployed overseas, 24/7. A variety of locations. It is not a fact often advertised, but it is true.
 
Not for the same reasons, but to all of this:

I was done with medications and treatment, I would just live with my nightmares and bottle it all back up, because I could function before. I had no emotions but I could function in my professional life.

I can completely relate.

However, if that were the best option, we would not have ended up in therapy. We need help (which, for the record, is completely okay), it is tough, but the only way to heal is to work through it.

Perhaps this is a good time to utilize the tools you have learned thus far in therapy, and when you get to the other side, celebrate your accomplishments - no matter how seemingly small you may want to call them. It may be helpful to write letters of what you would like to share to your therapist, regardless of if you intend to actually hand them over. Reaching out to a trusted shipmate or your command chaplain may be a temporary option as well.
 
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