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Madness, Insanity & The World Wide Web

Argh... PTSD is just so annoying. The anger is sitting just on the surface, and its taking everything not to just let it all rip at people, constantly. PTSD annoys the piss out of me some days. I don't even feel angry just sitting here, nor is there anything kicking around my brain that is of issue for me... but PTSD is trying to kick my arse and it feels like its growing in determination lately.

It's like a daily battle fighting this silly beast of a thing. Annoying, frustrating... battling with something that doesn't physically exist, just mentally. Argh!
 
It has been kicking me seriously. Reality check - the good things in life are good, but this still f*cks with us. Trying hard to get to the good things. Oh, ha, basics place to live, work etc. So can stop beating myself up that if I sorted the basics out all would be a good bit easier. Yes, it would be easier. Levels of hell?
 
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Setting up a new computer... argh! I cracked it with Nicolette as I was completely over having all these computers around, yet I didn't have one to just me, where either she or her staff weren't using. I f*cken hate people touching my computer. When I have a computer, it just works, no issues... as nobody screws around with things. Or it's completely dead and needs technical support at the shop. But it doesn't give me a hard time, 99.99% of the time, as I know what NOT to do on computers.

So she did a lovely thing, and got me my own MacBook pro. Whilst pissy about how much she spent on doing this... still I am happy now having my own system that nobody else touches, not even her.

Computer people will understand this... when you have a system setup to just work based on what you need, then there are zero issues. When someone else comes in using it... I have no idea why, but people can't help changing settings, doing stupid shit, and subsequently the computer starts doing stupid shit because they didn't understand the implications of clicking "yes, no worries" to a firewall security message that was clearly telling a computer person, hit NO for f*cks sake.

Still not quite there, still grabbing all my software from all over the place, then having a whole lot of setup to do all over again, another day or two in-between things and should be solid.
 
OMG - 13 months later, and I have a front tooth again. Nicolette is more relieved than me, I think... as I never wore my fake tooth they gave me as it was uncomfortable. So going through implant procedure for that time... out for a couple of weeks in places from surgeries and such, but here I am, with all my teeth again. Whoo...

I can smile without scaring people. YEH!
 
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