If you can have false memories of abuse, well then, I want false memories of comfort. I have a good enough imagination that I think if I play it over and over in my head enough . Here are some happy memories I want and am currently trying to forge into my mind.
I am six or seven and have fallen on the playground and skinned my knee I except to be yelled at for it like always but instead the yard duty teacher comes up to me and wipes a tear from my face and does the most amazing thing in the world she tells me the words that I have craved for so long "It's going to be ok." I think about hugging her but like always I stop myself because I know I will be rejected, but this time something changes. She hugs me.
That one is easy for me to imagine because I have been doing it since I was little. I tried everything I could come up with as a kid to create that senerio, but unfortunately I only got more frustrated and discouraged as I say it happen to other kids yet i couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong. I just wish I could convince myself it was real.
Other scenarios would be creating a birthday memory in my head. I have a bit of an obsession with balloons and streamers but have never had a real opportunity to have them. I am not so good with this one because I don't have enough experience to really create this one in my head.
I am six or seven and have fallen on the playground and skinned my knee I except to be yelled at for it like always but instead the yard duty teacher comes up to me and wipes a tear from my face and does the most amazing thing in the world she tells me the words that I have craved for so long "It's going to be ok." I think about hugging her but like always I stop myself because I know I will be rejected, but this time something changes. She hugs me.
That one is easy for me to imagine because I have been doing it since I was little. I tried everything I could come up with as a kid to create that senerio, but unfortunately I only got more frustrated and discouraged as I say it happen to other kids yet i couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong. I just wish I could convince myself it was real.
Other scenarios would be creating a birthday memory in my head. I have a bit of an obsession with balloons and streamers but have never had a real opportunity to have them. I am not so good with this one because I don't have enough experience to really create this one in my head.