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Marital sexual bliss, or not

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i can continue on when frozen but i don't think I've been numb. I have had parts of me go completely numb from stress though so i see how that can happen
 
Obviously, I'm not your husband so I can't answer for him, but as a supporter with a very similar situation (my husband was triggered by something I said while trying to be flirty, which eventually led him to ending our marriage), I can maybe offer a bit of a supporter PoV (and I apologize if it's unwanted here):

I highly doubt he is trying to trigger you, or negatively associate himself or you in any way, shape, or form to the cause of your PTSD. Sometimes we (as supporters) have no idea that something said in the heat of the moment (or even in casual play) would ever be construed as negative, much less as a trigger. Personally, I would never have said anything if I had any thought my words would hurt my husband. In fact, it was something he had said to me (during play) on more than one occasion, so I definitely had no inkling my words would (or did) hurt him.

In answer to your questions:
1: Yes. The body can do that. One can be physically/emotionally numb and still able to "function," sexually or otherwise.
2: There are a thousand other conclusions (logical and illogical) to jump to. Based on the limited info I have about you and your husband here, it may have been scary to hear, but, to a supporter (not a sufferer), it sounds just like that: jumping to an illogical conclusion. To use my own example again, it shook and hurt me to hear my husband say that not only was he so triggered by my words, that he no longer trusted me, and in fact, threw our whole marriage into question, because I had said something in play, that he had said to me in the past; something that was not meant in any way, shape, or form to be anything other than playful and flirty. I understand that what he went and goes through is so much more painful, and I'm not trying to diminish that at all. Just try to understand that he may (and probably is) as surprised to hear how it affected you as you were to hear it to begin with.
3: Handle it by communicating. Don't let it fester. If it would make you feel better, ask him if he said "19," and if so, what he meant by it. Explain you don't remember the context. Understand that communicating means you might have to tell him how triggered you were, and it may mean he will pull back himself, because he doesn't want to hurt you again. That's part of marriage, especially when mental illness is involved (I say this as someone who does not suffer from PTSD, but does suffer from other mental illness). Communication, compromise, and each owning our own "shit" (as it were) is all part of it, as is NOT wanting to hurt our spouse. And it may mean extra counseling, together and separate, to be able to move past it, and learn how to communicate and trust each other.

I know that with PTSD, it's hard to trust yourself, much less your spouse, especially when you're symptomatic, so asking someone with PTSD to trust that their spouse isn't actively TRYING to hurt them is asking a lot. All you can do is look at what you and your husband have built, try to trust yourself enough to know that you're with him for a reason, and that he wouldn't purposely hurt you.
 
Obviously, I'm not your husband so I can't answer for him, but as a supporter with a very similar situation (my husband w...
Thank you. I have communicated with him about it since this post and he doesn't even remember anything he said. I know I heard it and it was like that is the only think that was in the room at that time. Like a freeze frame in my mind with those words floating around and shutting everything else down. I have tried to explain ptsd and triggers to him and he just doesn't understand. I am thinking that I just need to avoid sex all together while I am going through emdr. Even I don't know what will trigger me at this point.
 
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