T
Tewehuc
ok - not sure what to do from here.
I have been seeing my T for a few years and we have worked through a lot. History of CSA, sexual assaults, etc. I thought I was in a better space even though it has been a journey. Today I saw my T and I spoke about having a harder week. When it boiled down I saw that my husband's usual habits of drinking and groping me when I make dinner first get me super anxious. Then he doesn't come to bed until the middle of the night - 3 or 4 ish. Often he then wakes me - we have sex and then he goes to sleep. Well this has been a pattern for years and years. We have uncovered this pattern in an effort to care for myself better. (Sleep hygeine)
My T suggested I tell my H he needs to come to bed at the usual time or no sex. That was hard to hear.
I disassociate during sex and afterwards and prior I am incredibly anxious. We talked a lot about it. And then at the end of my session I asked if she thought I would always disassociate . She was so careful in her words and said some people no longer disassociate. She said my H is a big trigger for me especially around sex. She told me I will need to not think of sex as bad or I may find I need a partner who can treat me well.
I can't believe this is were I am at. These thoughts are really scary to me. Any advise?
I have been seeing my T for a few years and we have worked through a lot. History of CSA, sexual assaults, etc. I thought I was in a better space even though it has been a journey. Today I saw my T and I spoke about having a harder week. When it boiled down I saw that my husband's usual habits of drinking and groping me when I make dinner first get me super anxious. Then he doesn't come to bed until the middle of the night - 3 or 4 ish. Often he then wakes me - we have sex and then he goes to sleep. Well this has been a pattern for years and years. We have uncovered this pattern in an effort to care for myself better. (Sleep hygeine)
My T suggested I tell my H he needs to come to bed at the usual time or no sex. That was hard to hear.
I disassociate during sex and afterwards and prior I am incredibly anxious. We talked a lot about it. And then at the end of my session I asked if she thought I would always disassociate . She was so careful in her words and said some people no longer disassociate. She said my H is a big trigger for me especially around sex. She told me I will need to not think of sex as bad or I may find I need a partner who can treat me well.
I can't believe this is were I am at. These thoughts are really scary to me. Any advise?