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Meeting with main trigger on monday

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Deleted member 37474

1. A requested meeting with the band director of this school has set me off and I am majorly considering canceling it.
2. I have been warned that this person wants me out and has no respect for me despite high praise from others.
3. Smug. Same mannerisms as rapist. Looks like a grown up version of rapist.
4. This man is sexist and has been emotionally harming my private student's for 7 years.
5. This man has been suspended for sexual harassment of a female student before. I think he only was aloud to stay since he is gay.
6. All of my students from the feeder school will go to this high school.
7. I have frozen in the presence of this man before.
8. I keep thinking about doors. I couldn't make it out the door in the past, and this thick wooden door will be closed during the meeting.
9. I called my therapist today and left a message and emailed her, I never do that.

Should I cancel? Do I face this? I already gave up a huge school program to avoid a confrontational meeting at another school.
 
Options:

Cancel. Did he request it, or did someone else?
Have people who support you accompany you to the meeting.
Go with a plan. Everything written out and notes on what you want to say. Maybe even record the meeting with out him knowing.
 
No one will go with me. My comfort/best friend won't go near him.

My husband said, "you chose this profession, so you deal with it." (He doesn't understand triggers/flashbacks)

He also said, "everyone deals with shit in their job."

Later, he coached me on stuff to say and not to say. In all honesty, the director has no say on whether my students remain with me or not. I had stopped teaching on that campus a few years ago. The other dilemma of going after a long list of complaints I have on him is that both of my daughters are in his band and my h's work is connected to the program as well.
 
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My T called today to review grounding strategies that work for me. She also reminded me how this is tying in to the negative values that we have been working on, and that the pull from my past is just that... in the past. I feel a little bit better about things, I wish she had said... DON'T GO! But she didn't.
 
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