NewBeginnings
MyPTSD Pro
Not sure where this post belongs but this seems like a possible fit..I am looking for any suggestion to help.
I go to sleep at night with no problem. My DH does not go to bed at the same time but when he comes to bed several hours later he often wakes me (or somewhat wakes me) to have sex. Often I am very complacent and he can do what he pleases. Sometimes I don't "get it" until he is into it. I check out and finally it is over. Trouble is that afterwards I am so upset with myself. I feel sick and my self talk is not helpful. I wait for a couple hours to pass and then get up to shower and start my day. This start is hard because I feel dirty and anxious about what happened not to mentioned I get really tired.
When this is happening my mind often wanders to past trauma experiences but in a jumbled manner. I have pieces happening and not sure how to address it all. I thought I was doing better but then I fall backwards. When we have sex I get images of past abuse and I cannot let it go.
Does anyone have suggestions?
I thought I was handling things better and then last night brought me back to thinking I have stirred up too much stuff and my mind is making a bigger deal out of this than need be.
I go to sleep at night with no problem. My DH does not go to bed at the same time but when he comes to bed several hours later he often wakes me (or somewhat wakes me) to have sex. Often I am very complacent and he can do what he pleases. Sometimes I don't "get it" until he is into it. I check out and finally it is over. Trouble is that afterwards I am so upset with myself. I feel sick and my self talk is not helpful. I wait for a couple hours to pass and then get up to shower and start my day. This start is hard because I feel dirty and anxious about what happened not to mentioned I get really tired.
When this is happening my mind often wanders to past trauma experiences but in a jumbled manner. I have pieces happening and not sure how to address it all. I thought I was doing better but then I fall backwards. When we have sex I get images of past abuse and I cannot let it go.
Does anyone have suggestions?
I thought I was handling things better and then last night brought me back to thinking I have stirred up too much stuff and my mind is making a bigger deal out of this than need be.