twodogcircus
New Here
A few times in my adult life I've recalled very limited memories of a childhood friend. The memories seem insignificant but I feel so strongly that there's more to them.
I do know a few things for sure. His name was Matt. He was diagnosed with Leukemia when we were in 1st grade. He passed away in 2nd grade.
Most frequently, I remember the two of us sitting in desks next to each other in our 2nd grade classroom. I think we both have our elbows on the desks and we're leaning our heads close together and talking quietly. I also have a memory of us reading to each other in our 1st grade class.
After he began his treatment for Leukemia he gained a significant amount of weight and lost all his hair. I remember most of the other kids in our class stopped talking to him and wouldn't go near him because they were afraid they would get sick too. But his illness and changed appearance never bothered me.
Whenever I recall these memories, I overwhelmingly feel that he and I were best friends. I know he was important to me. But then I can't figure out why I don't have more memories of him.
I think I feel sadness at his death now but thinking back I can't recall feeling any sadness at the time he passed away. I don't even remember finding out he passed away. I know someone told me but I can't remember who it was or where I was when I found out and that seems like something I should remember.
I'm so confused about this. Sometimes I feel like I've completely made these memories up but they're so vivid and have such strong feelings attached to them that I don't know how I could've made them up. Or why.
Has anyone else experienced anything like this? Tell me I'm not crazy, please...
I do know a few things for sure. His name was Matt. He was diagnosed with Leukemia when we were in 1st grade. He passed away in 2nd grade.
Most frequently, I remember the two of us sitting in desks next to each other in our 2nd grade classroom. I think we both have our elbows on the desks and we're leaning our heads close together and talking quietly. I also have a memory of us reading to each other in our 1st grade class.
After he began his treatment for Leukemia he gained a significant amount of weight and lost all his hair. I remember most of the other kids in our class stopped talking to him and wouldn't go near him because they were afraid they would get sick too. But his illness and changed appearance never bothered me.
Whenever I recall these memories, I overwhelmingly feel that he and I were best friends. I know he was important to me. But then I can't figure out why I don't have more memories of him.
I think I feel sadness at his death now but thinking back I can't recall feeling any sadness at the time he passed away. I don't even remember finding out he passed away. I know someone told me but I can't remember who it was or where I was when I found out and that seems like something I should remember.
I'm so confused about this. Sometimes I feel like I've completely made these memories up but they're so vivid and have such strong feelings attached to them that I don't know how I could've made them up. Or why.
Has anyone else experienced anything like this? Tell me I'm not crazy, please...