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Memory Loss! Does It Get Better As Progress is Made?

Discussion in 'Supporter Discussion' started by Jen, Jan 9, 2007.

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  1. Jen

    Jen Well-Known Member

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    Hi Anthony I know we have spoken about memory loss before. Hubby seems to be getting a little better his moods are a bit better. We are getting on pretty well which makes life a bit better.
    A concern I am having with him and he gets cranky about it is his memory loss.
    Twice in the last couple of days he has forgotten things which have been pretty important involving our business. He says he is ok and I can go home while he looks after the business but it is a bit of a worry that I need to keep checking things with him. I feel like I am nagging him when I am checking up on him but it is important.
    If he keeps improving will the memory improve as well or is that going to take time?
    Thanks Jen
     
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  3. dazednconfused

    dazednconfused Active Member

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    ??

    I would love to know this too. My M-I-L says my husband is having trouble with this too and gets irate at her if she even dares to mention it...

    dazed
     
  4. jods

    jods Well-Known Member

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    Hi Jen
    Hubby's short term memory is is pretty much shot now. We have a whiteboard for stuff but even then he forgets to write on it & look at it.
    I'm just guessing but I think that maybe it's due to the trauma they have encountered & it has affected that part of the brain associated with memory.
    I'm probably wrong but that's my guess.
     
  5. Jen

    Jen Well-Known Member

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    Hi Jods is he frustrated over this or has he accepted that a whiteboard is a good idea? Hubby is convinced now he has Alzheimers because his dad had it before he died.
    Jen
     
  6. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    The memory improves Jen as trauma is removed. Trauma clouds the mind, thus memory issues, as trauma is removed and dealt with, memory returns. When you remove trauma itself, all the past fears, the nightmares go, flashbacks go, memory issues go, anxiety, depression, sleep problems, etc etc... the whole lot, all symptoms go away once all trauma is dealt with and PTSD is managed, ie. the stress levels.

    I would suggest that he use a notebook, diary or something that keeps things, even an electronic one, where you both can add things and it beeps at him with plenty of warning, so he knows what is coming. But saying that, he must then make an active decision to use it, not just ignore it. Most mobile phones have reminder capabilities nowadays.
     
  7. kguyton

    kguyton New Member

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    Memory Loss

    Man, sounds like we're married to the same guy. My husband has NO memory. He has called me lost many times on everyday routes to our bank, etc. We have a business too - that just wasn't working - so I took a job to ease financial pressure and hopefully marital strife. But I still have to say, "call this person and say this. Then fax this person and write this on the cover page....etc" He resents it - and so do I. Even if he makes lists - he forgets where he put them or to even look at them again. He wants a cat scan - because he says he must have a tumor.

    He is not diagnosed "officially" but is in a PTSD group at the Vet center. His counselor wants him to get diagnosed, then go inpatient for treatment. He needs help - and frankly so do I. I am barely able to hang on to our marriage - and I keep wondering, "What is the reward for all this struggle?" He kicked one addiction only to replace it with another. I guess I am pretty far gone and out of patience. We have been married 2 years. Help?
     
  8. Jen

    Jen Well-Known Member

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    Thanks Anthony yeh he bought me a little tape recorder at Xmas so I can talk into it with reminders etc for work maybe I will see if he wants to use it.
    What do you think about surprises I am holding a party for his 50th only small one about 8 - 10 family and good friends not to big. Do you think a bit of pre warning would be advisable?
    Jen
     
  9. Celt

    Celt Member

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    We use a calender that we write EVERYTHING on,this helps as my partner will remember to look at the calender.
    From my point of view Jen,i think pre-warning your partner about any birthday get-together is a good idea as my partner would be totally thrown by the unexpectedness of being faced by that and then being expected to be happy about it,when maybe he felt really anxious/scared and out of his depth.
     
  10. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Jen, you know him best. If you believe he will react negatively, then maybe a little clue or something, or discuss how he would be with a small group around or something... if you don't think he will respond, then roll the dice! It is a small group, but you would know best.

    Welcome kguyton... good to have you hear with us all.

    What you all see in your partners with memory loss, I have suffered for years myself, and I mean suffered. This will sound very familiar to you all, in that kerrie could tell me something, or I could get of the phone even, and within one minute, less even, I have completely forgotten what was just said or organised. I forgot how to speak at times, I forgot how to spell common words, pretty screwed up memory wise. It was all because of trauma. As I healed my trauma and hit it head on, my memory began to return, thus my speech and spelling also. I had to do some work though, just to touch up a little, ie. reading. The first book I picked up, by the end of the first page my head was pounding, the second I was physically ill. Next day, I hit more pages, then more, then more, and before I knew it within only a week or two, I was reading chapters at a time without issue. The memory is affected by trauma fairly severely, to say the least, and depending on the extent of trauma, depends on the severity of memory loss. But even though it will return as trauma is healed, a little work must be done just to tidy things up again, ie. mental try and remember things, read a few books to help get the mind fully active again, etc, and it all comes back very quickly, but trauma must be healed first.

    Yes, with trauma if a person religously read book after book, they would help improve their memory back to a decent level, but the motivation from trauma often kicks that into touch also, so there are always symptoms just waiting to kick the sufferer down when they try to come up for air when trauma is still present. Trauma must be healed first, with the major trauma first.
     
  11. Jen

    Jen Well-Known Member

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    Thanks yeh a couple of family members are coming a couple of days earlier than the party so it is not going to be a complete surprise to him. I think this may be the better way I dont want him crashing after the party because he cant handle it. He has been crook the last couple of days again.
    Good day,Bad day,Good day,Bad day I can read him like a book!!:think:
     
  12. kguyton

    kguyton New Member

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    you know whats hard for me? When my husband forgets....I seem to also pay the consequences. I have been advised here (and I know it's true) that if it is wearing me out & pissing me off, I should stop trying to prevent stressors or remind him of everything.

    But here's what happens if he forgets: he has been waiting six months to get in with his shrink at the VA (for PTSD diagnosis) - and misses his appt. So another six months? He is late paying child support - so his ex calls and screams at him, he freaks - then we wire her money that costs $25 more than if it would have been mailed. He forgets to call his son - so his son gets lost in the mix (and I am his stepmother) He forgets to brush his teeth - and when he goes to the dentist it's $1000 bucks. He drives his truck - I don't - but he takes it in for brake pads - and boom another $1000 bucks - cuz the brakes are shot - since he's been driving metal to metal for some time now. Don't even get me started on the customer complaints I have had to smooth over at our small business for unreturned calls, unfulfilled promises. Hell - we drove to the wrong city - when visiting his brother my 1st time - he has lived there for like 10 years! On and on and on

    What can I do? I get furious when I have to nag the shit out of him all the time - but when I let go - the shit hits the fan! He hates it too.
     
  13. paul

    paul Member

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    i found that my memory especially short term improved greatly with a change in medication,before that i couldnt remember my home phone number but now i can remember things such as birthdays and appointments.
     
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