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Missing unhealthy attachment

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Super crazy, I know. But my new (been seeing him since mid-December) t and I have a very normal and healthy relationship. And it’s weirding me out. I realize this is a great problem to have but I oddly find myself missing that kind of “putting someone on a pedestal and obsessing about what they think” mentality. It’s a very emotional experience and the current one is mellow. I’m so used to chaos in all things. How do you just relax into something when you’re so used to another way of relating? And another crazy thing, I will totally and comfortably talk to him about this next week.
 
How funny bc I can relate to that so much. Every relationship I have, with exception of my son and therapist, is totally chaotic. It seems odd to have normal adult conversation and not have someone pick me apart, tell me how ridiculous I am, or just yell. I almost try and ruin it or run from it bc it feels scary. Like if my therapist could just get mad at me once and yell or come in and be in a bad mood and take it out on me once I would feel more comfortable. Lol
 
How funny bc I can relate to that so much. Every relationship I have, with exception of my son and thera...
Yes! I feel so adult and it’s such a new feeling and it’s wildly uncomfortable. I want drama! I scheduled a somatic experiencing session in a month, knowing I can’t do both that and therapy. Knowing it will make me feel super indecisive and stressed out. And so, after careful thought, I canceled because I want to change that pattern. But just calmness makes me unsettled lol. And haha that’s so funny you want your t to get mad at you! I actually sort of want to get mad at my t and storm out lol!!! I don’t think I would, I think I’d be adult but say how I want to do that. Geez. Weird to want drama but know now it’s so not good for you.
 
That's a brilliant T! Now you see the contrast between what you are used to and what you now have. So what I would generally do with that feeling is remember it, try to call it up whenever I could in varying situations. I mean, that is the idea right? Look for what is safe.calm.healthy.better and work our lives around those feelings.

It's one hell of an adjustment but man, is it worth it to start incorporating it into every cell of our being so we know what we are attempting to attain in our healing.
 
It is when you’re not used to it and never had it before. But glad you have had lots of cari...
Well the only person that has ever done that is my therapist. Lol. It freaks me out bc I completely expect “that’s ridiculous” as an answer but I never get that. It’s always someone who is very heartfelt and then thanks me for sharing ??? Thank me? What is that?? Lol. No, really though it is unsettling.
 
Wanting chaos, is because it’s what we know, and what others expect of us. It’s what they know how to react too. So when there isn’t any, it’s soooooo difficult to function.

I refer to it as OLD behavior. It’s hard to keep functioning in NEW. Ehavior, but eventually you’ll get to the point that the mi Ute you slip into old, you’ll realize it and stop the behavior. So basically it’s a learned behavior that you must change....
 
How funny bc I can relate to that so much. Every relationship I have, with exception of my son and thera...
Yeah it is terribly uncomfortable to have someone unconditionally be supportive. WTH?
I wish I could have someone be unconditionally supportive. My last relationship failed partly because I felt so stressed out from my partner pressuring me to fix, cure or be "normal" from my PTSD. He was an kicked the habit of drugs and alcohol many years ago, which has helped him to understanding, but he thinks kicking PTSD is like kicking a drink or drugs. They are different. He has the mindset of...Just stop!
 
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