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More of my sh@tty life

  • Thread starter Deleted member 40153
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Deleted member 40153

I have so much sh$t to get off my chest, I'm such a wreck. I'm all over the place, I'm sorry. Have patience with this emo.

My best/only friend who once cared, has forgotten like the rest of them. So yeah i don't have any friends who live in my area now. i probably would have killed myself already if it wasn't Jay.

last week I confessed to my childhood friend, he without knowing helped me heal after Larry's suicide. He said he loved me back, We were a thing for two days till he finally spit out that he only thought of me a sister. Which might i add we had a make-out session in the back of a car during a football game before he said that. Later that week the story reached the friend group. its now a joke. SISTER ZONED. it wouldn't of hurt if i wasn't such a emotional person.

A Little More Backstory as to Why I Can't Over Larry
even though its been almost two years since he died:

When I was in the fifth grade ( i know young af) this older kid (he was 15 at the time) asked me out. being the kid i was i said yes. he took advantage of me. he pinned me to that bed. Knife in hand, camera on the dresser. Larry and Jay found out and kicked his ass to tomorrow and protected me from TB (that what we are gonna call that bastard:mad:). He suffered broken ribs, a broken nose and leg. TB never came around me again, Larry was a year older than me so ya know feelings developed:inlove:, we were in a relationship for a good four years? or something like that. Jay was gay for Larry but never told him. So after the death Jay took to drugs to ease his pain (theres a lot going on in his life) He overdosed last week. It was bad. Its a miracle that hes alive. Hes sleeping right beside me right now so im a little at ease.

I want to breathe, i want a break. Just a second to lay down so the memories of this lost child within me can finally sleep. But my anxiety and depression gets in the way. i physically cant sleep and when there is only silence my thoughts run rampant to the point where i have a panic attack. :bag::bag::bag: I want to die. i hate the beating in my chest, i want it to stop. overdosing hasn't worked...

Okay well i got hat all off my chest... I think im going to wake Jay up so we can go get high and cut over life together, like the emos we are.:cry::cry::hilarious::hilarious:
 
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