There are times when I find myself mourning for my past life, before I ended up with ptsd. Anyone else find themselves doing this? The thoughts are a mixture of what if 's, why's, and if only's. Sometimes I'll see someone or something from my life before the trama and I just feel so sad. I think about how my life might have been if not for the trama and how much I miss the person I use to be. I guess it's a form of self pitty but to me it's more like mourning the death of the person I use to be-if that makes sense. I've accepted the fact that I may never be my pre-ptsd self again, and that's ok but it doesn't mean that I don't get sad over it at times. So for tonight I'll indulge in a little self pitty/mourning and tomarrow I'll wake up and remind myself it could always be worse, and how lucky I am for all the good things and people in my life after ptsd.