Hi. My name is Candy, & I have an array of repeated traumas because of my disability. First off, I would like to say that I was in foster care & abused in foster care, & the foster mom put us in a cult. I have never been medically diagnosed with PTSD, but now I suffer it, & I KNOW I do. I'm 30 years old now, & I have no family support. Only me. Growing up, I had to dissociate & use imaginary friends to cope with my childhood traumas. People repeatedly traumatize & bully me because they think I'm retarded & crazy. As an adult, I've been raped several times & no one believes me.
I suffer OCD, anxiety, depression, Tourette's, hyperacusis (hypersensitive ears), & this new disorder, called Maladaptive Daydreaming. I'm not an attention seeker, & I need all the help I can get. The mental health system has failed me, so I have no interest in seeing a psychiatrist or take those abusive, poison pills anymore. Pills don't solve my problems or mask the pain. The pain is still there. I feel like I have nobody. Everyone ignores me.
I was raped in 2011, twice & 2012, twice, & ALMOST raped last year. After 1 of the rapes in 2011, my already existent OCD became MUCH worse, & now, I have to clean everything I touch with 91% isopropyl rubbing alcohol. I feel dirty, & hand sanitizer is too sticky for me. I'm not welcome anywhere because of my OCD, & people stereotype me as the weirdest person they ever met, or they call me crazy & a nuisance. The only thing those fake therapists suggest is pills, & they don't want to HELP me. It's like I'm left hanging, to spiritually & emotionally die alone.
I'm in SO much pain, & I'm sick & tired of being forced to hold everything in. & when I try to talk to a so-called friend about my traumas, I get told that I'm too negative, energy-draining & complain too much & that I need to learn how to just let it go. Everyone else can have closure from their traumas because they have supportive people to talk to. Those evil crisis hotlines treat me like a pest & hang up in my face, & I'm not welcome to call there, either.
So, with my OCD & PTSD, everyone calls me crazy. The other night, a lady called me crazy, to my face, & she & a few other people tell me that I waste too much money on that alcohol. But it's not a waste to me because it's like medicine for me.
I have more experiences to post, but I can't do it all on this introductory post.
I suffer OCD, anxiety, depression, Tourette's, hyperacusis (hypersensitive ears), & this new disorder, called Maladaptive Daydreaming. I'm not an attention seeker, & I need all the help I can get. The mental health system has failed me, so I have no interest in seeing a psychiatrist or take those abusive, poison pills anymore. Pills don't solve my problems or mask the pain. The pain is still there. I feel like I have nobody. Everyone ignores me.
I was raped in 2011, twice & 2012, twice, & ALMOST raped last year. After 1 of the rapes in 2011, my already existent OCD became MUCH worse, & now, I have to clean everything I touch with 91% isopropyl rubbing alcohol. I feel dirty, & hand sanitizer is too sticky for me. I'm not welcome anywhere because of my OCD, & people stereotype me as the weirdest person they ever met, or they call me crazy & a nuisance. The only thing those fake therapists suggest is pills, & they don't want to HELP me. It's like I'm left hanging, to spiritually & emotionally die alone.
I'm in SO much pain, & I'm sick & tired of being forced to hold everything in. & when I try to talk to a so-called friend about my traumas, I get told that I'm too negative, energy-draining & complain too much & that I need to learn how to just let it go. Everyone else can have closure from their traumas because they have supportive people to talk to. Those evil crisis hotlines treat me like a pest & hang up in my face, & I'm not welcome to call there, either.
So, with my OCD & PTSD, everyone calls me crazy. The other night, a lady called me crazy, to my face, & she & a few other people tell me that I waste too much money on that alcohol. But it's not a waste to me because it's like medicine for me.
I have more experiences to post, but I can't do it all on this introductory post.
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