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Relationship My Boyfriend Blames Himself..

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Bethyboop94

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Hey, so I don't know whether anyone will read this but I'm hoping someone is active in which to read my story.

I have been with my boyfriend for 4 months and he has openly admitted to me that he has PTSD from the very beginning. We both knew it would be hard in which to cope, however being the stubborn person that I am I have taken the challenge to look after him because I fell in love with him instantly. As cheesy as it sounds, it was love at first sight.

My boyfriend has suffered with alcohol abuse in the past however, that was before meeting me.
My boyfriend, has been out of the army for about a year and a half due to medical discharge of PTSD.
He suffers with anxiety, depression and guilt.

He has been on numerous tours with the British Army but his last tour was in Afghan. He witnessed his best friend die in his arms; his best friend was the one which searched the perimeter in which to check for any bombs/mines before the group of soldiers went on patrol/continued to walk down the street. However, his best friend stepped on a IED (aka a bomb in easy terms!) which required him to keep his weight evenly on it otherwise it would explode. My boyfriend and him were the last ones there once my boyfriend had told his troops to get into safety (he was a captain). Unfortunately his best friend was unable to remove his boot and keep the same amount of pressure on the IED causing it to explode, with Rhys (his best friend) being hit first. My boyfriend still to this day blames himself for his death, and I have no idea how I can help him.

There are some days he is okay, but others he has flashbacks or can smell smoke from bullets being shot. I know this is part of his PTSD but I just wish I could help him. At night he suffers with nightmares and at times blacks out, where he is completely a different person. He doesn't know where he is or what he's doing or saying, it's as if he is a stranger meeting me for the first time.

He sees a therapist, and attends a group with fellow ex military whom suffer with PTSD. He enjoys group but hates seeing his therapist and on occasion refuses to go - I guess it's because he feels judged.

Personally, I sometimes feel very lonely as no one seems to understand my perdicament. I love my boyfriend with all my heart but it's a very lonely road, when you can't really talk to him about how you feel without being afraid in upsetting him. I just hope we can one day find a solution in which to help our loved ones whom are effected by this terrible illness. Thank you to whomever reads this. It feels good to be able to get it off my chest and relate to so many of you.
 
Welcome!

There are plenty of us here supporting combat vets. The most important thing to understand is that there is no cure and the nature of PTSD is that is runs in cycles. Be careful not to take on too much of his illness. You cannot cure him. You cannot love him through this. Some days you can help. Other days you need to just get the hell out of the way. If you can accept him, as he is, then it can work. If you are waiting for things to "get better" then you need to realise that may not happen.
 
Hey, so I don't know whether anyone will read this but I'm hoping someone is active in which to rea...
Hello sweetie my name is ange my uncle is suffering from post traumatic stress disorder and your message hit home with me as he is ex army I don't know if this helps in any way but I think talking helps us as well as our loved ones I'm sorry your boyfriend is going through hard times hope and pray all best for you ange xxx
 
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