So my first counselor basically ruined my entire therapy process because I don't think I can EVER trust a therapist after this. I got pregnant when I was 19 and went to live in a maternity home and part of the program was that we received free "counseling" it was almost like we were forced to share ourselves with this woman in order to be in the program which I needed to be in because I had no where else to go. Anyways we discussed issues concerning my dad and how he raped and sexually abused me and she was supportive but also extremely unprofessional when it came to him. She would say things like "if I went through that I would have killed myself" and "I can't believe you didn't kill him" like wtf? Who the f*ck says that how insensitive like you weren't there and yeah I beat myself up all the time for feeling like I didn't protect myself better so why the f*ck would you say stuff like that.
But that's not the worst part. The worst is that I told her and the program the director that I did not want anything to do with my grandmother who lived close by and kept trying to contact me. One day she showed up unexpectedly and i ran and told my counselor that I didn't want her there and her response was "oh she's not pushing a boundary she is just showing you how lucky she lives you." Umm I f*cking told her not to come that is disrespectful I just had a baby. My grandma also molested me as a child and when I disclosed this to my counselor her only response was "she wants you to be like her" and I said "yeah" but that was it. That was the first time I ever told anyone about my grandma abusing me and she didn't believe me which made me very confused and ashamed. Anyways I ended up leaving the program and basically almost drinking myself to death and got involved in a very abusive relationship. I'm just frustrated because now that I'm dealing with all these feelings I'm starting to recognize how innapropriate and wrong her style of "counseling" was.
But that's not the worst part. The worst is that I told her and the program the director that I did not want anything to do with my grandmother who lived close by and kept trying to contact me. One day she showed up unexpectedly and i ran and told my counselor that I didn't want her there and her response was "oh she's not pushing a boundary she is just showing you how lucky she lives you." Umm I f*cking told her not to come that is disrespectful I just had a baby. My grandma also molested me as a child and when I disclosed this to my counselor her only response was "she wants you to be like her" and I said "yeah" but that was it. That was the first time I ever told anyone about my grandma abusing me and she didn't believe me which made me very confused and ashamed. Anyways I ended up leaving the program and basically almost drinking myself to death and got involved in a very abusive relationship. I'm just frustrated because now that I'm dealing with all these feelings I'm starting to recognize how innapropriate and wrong her style of "counseling" was.