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My first counselor

Discussion in 'Treatment & Therapy' started by Slkobe, Jun 16, 2017.

  1. Slkobe

    Slkobe New Member

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    So my first counselor basically ruined my entire therapy process because I don't think I can EVER trust a therapist after this. I got pregnant when I was 19 and went to live in a maternity home and part of the program was that we received free "counseling" it was almost like we were forced to share ourselves with this woman in order to be in the program which I needed to be in because I had no where else to go. Anyways we discussed issues concerning my dad and how he raped and sexually abused me and she was supportive but also extremely unprofessional when it came to him. She would say things like "if I went through that I would have killed myself" and "I can't believe you didn't kill him" like wtf? Who the f*ck says that how insensitive like you weren't there and yeah I beat myself up all the time for feeling like I didn't protect myself better so why the f*ck would you say stuff like that.

    But that's not the worst part. The worst is that I told her and the program the director that I did not want anything to do with my grandmother who lived close by and kept trying to contact me. One day she showed up unexpectedly and i ran and told my counselor that I didn't want her there and her response was "oh she's not pushing a boundary she is just showing you how lucky she lives you." Umm I f*cking told her not to come that is disrespectful I just had a baby. My grandma also molested me as a child and when I disclosed this to my counselor her only response was "she wants you to be like her" and I said "yeah" but that was it. That was the first time I ever told anyone about my grandma abusing me and she didn't believe me which made me very confused and ashamed. Anyways I ended up leaving the program and basically almost drinking myself to death and got involved in a very abusive relationship. I'm just frustrated because now that I'm dealing with all these feelings I'm starting to recognize how innapropriate and wrong her style of "counseling" was.
     
    Heather likes this.
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  3. NightSky

    NightSky Active Member

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    It was wrong, and I'm sorry you had that experience. But there are a lot of amazing therapists out there who could help you. It's a matter of finding the right match. If you do, you won't have to deal with the feelings alone.
     
    Eagle3 and Slkobe like this.
  4. Holdingontohope

    Holdingontohope Active Member

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    I'm sorry you has such an awful experience with your first "counselor". There are good therapists out there. It might take a while to find one that you feel comfortable with and work well with though. I've met with several different therapists throughout my life. Some of them were okay, some were horrible, but I now have an amazing therapist and with his help I have made more progress and accomplished more than I ever thought was possible before. Therapy can be very beneficial when you have a compassionate and competent therapist.
     
    Eagle3, Slkobe and The Albatross like this.
  5. Slkobe

    Slkobe New Member

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    Thanks! I just reread over my initial post and I apologize for the obscene language. I just needed a place to vent my frustration uninhibited. I appreciate the kinds words and advice. Unfortunately this experience really did a lot of damage to my sense of trust and confidence in people but I think eventually I will be open to speaking with a different therapist in the future!! Thanks so much!! ❤️
     
    Eagle3 likes this.
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