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My Husband Is Very Depressed - Anyone Have Any Advice?

Discussion in 'Supporter Discussion' started by ksue, Aug 30, 2007.

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  1. ksue

    ksue New Member

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    Good morning everyone
    I have a question and I would love input from both angles of PTSD. I am new to this forum and already feel this is a great place for support. My husband is having an overwhelming amount of symptoms because it is nearing the anniversary of one of his major childhood traumas. His depression is the lowest I’ve seen it. He is trying to push me away/avoid me to “protect” me (as he says)… my question is how do I go about involving close friends, and family to help him realize that we all want to help him through this but without him feeling attacked or ganged up on? Or do we just emphasize that we are here for him whenever he is ready?
     
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  3. Kathy

    Kathy I'm a VIP

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    I wrote to you in the Introductions section moments ago Ksue, however welcome once more! Normally I would recommend you give your husband space and let him come to you, I recommended that in the Intro. However I am a bit concerned that you say his depression is the worst you have ever seen it. I am not meaning to frighten you, but my brother-in-law had PTSD, became very depressed and withdrawn, and shortly afterwards committed suicide. At the time, the family did not realize he was suicidal. So, I want to be certain you are familiar with the warning signs of suicidal behaviour, especially in someone with PTSD. Being very silent, very withdrawn and not talking at all is a definite sign that there might be trouble. Also any talk of going away, not being able to cope anymore, giving away possessions, or even a sudden improvement in mood - all tell tale signs of possible suicidal thoughts or ideation. He really should be seen by a physician, even a general practitioner would be able to assess if he requires immediate assistance. If he will not listen to you, would he listen perhaps to a close relative or friend, preferably another man? If he absolutely will not take any advice, then there really is nothing more you can do, other than continue to watch for warning signs. If you become concerned don't hesitate to call for assistance and have him forcibly taken to hospital. You need to protect both him and your loved ones.

    Now as I say I don't wish to frighten you. Only I wanted to be certain you were prepared for a worst case scenario. Perhaps he is not suicidal and simply going through a rough patch, as you say a trauma anniversary is coming up soon, and that is truly difficult. Be sure to not make any unnecessary demands on him at this time. He will require extra rest and understanding. If he is working, encourage him to take a few days off if he's able. Try to make his surroundings as stress free as possible, give him space however be available should he wish to speak with you. You mentioned also that he is drinking. He is likely using alcohol to quiet his bad thoughts and feelings. If he would be willing to attend an AA meeting it may help him somewhat, though if he is very depressed it may be very difficult for him to leave the home.

    In any event, these are all merely suggestions. If you feel anything applies or is helpful, please do use it, otherwise no worries. Every situation is different. Most importantly, take care of yourself, give yourself breaks, do nice things for yourself and so on. Counseling of some kind may be helpful for you as well, if available. Do take care and continue to keep us updated. You will receive lots of advice and opinions here, be assured of that! :tongue:
     
  4. She Cat

    She Cat I'm a VIP Premium Member

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    I have to agree with Kathy....I have PTSD, so this is my take on it. NOT everyone with PTSD will attempt suicide. Some make it through the depression just barely, but they make it. With me...The depression side of PTSD is the worse symptom. If I get triggered from one of my major triggers...Forget it, I'm gone. The depression is bad. I have attempted suicide many times. So yes the threat is very real.

    I would strongly encourage him to get help...If he won't....... and you really think that he is a danger to himself. Then possibly think of having him sectioned. You can do this through the court system, or through his Dr I believe. Just watch him closely...

    Is there anything that he used to be really interested in. maybe trying to get him interested again.

    His depression may pass after the anniversary date, so it may be only temporary....

    Please be good to yourself too.

    Wendy
     
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