adviceplease
New Here
My husband and I have been together for six years. We got married last August. We have had some serious ups and downs, but we always talked it through. He is active and we have been together through 2 deployments and just as many break ups.
A year and a half ago he was assaulted, arrested and charged with a DUI. Work finally made him go to counseling for alcohol abuse and he was diagnosed with PTSD and ADHD. In the assault his 2 front teeth were knocked out and he had extensive surgery. I was there with him the whole time, holding down a full time job, while going to school full time.
The first year of marriage after so much drama hasn't been easy, but I thought with time and love we could work through it like we always have. Unfortunately, he continues to drink, stay out all hours, and disengage himself from our lives. He was going to his therapist regularly at one point and even had a few non drinking past times and was working out.
About 2 months ago, I broke my foot. I got a cast and crutches and was homebound. I really had to depend on him, much like he depended on me when he was injured. It put a lot of strain on us, and I have to admit was depressed and not happy.
2 weeks ago he said he had enough and without even considering an alternative told me he wants a divorce. He stopped sleeping in our room, stays away days on end and won't communicate with me. I am still homebound and on crutches, and this is devestating to me. I have tried for days to change his mind to, get him to commit to counseling. He agrees and then changes his mind, doesn't think there is anything to save, and says he hasn't been happy for a long time, claims to be a bad person and that I shoukd fins someone else.
I don't know what to do, my insurance won't cover couples therapy and he says the army doesn't either. I want to believe there's hope for us, WE had good times and were happy, but he seems to have forgotten that and the whole vow 'in sickness and in health'. If I ask him for help he comes home for the task and heads back out the door.
I don't have military spouse friends, I don't have anyone to talk about his PTSD. We're on hold and in our state you have to seperate for 6 months before filing for divorce, but I have limited mobility and the stress of this situation is hindering my recovery. My friends, who don't have active spouses all suggest moving on and distancing myself, but we're married...and I can't let go.
I'm just looking for advice from any supporters who have had similar situations with their spouses. Did time and counseling help heal? Or did you have to let go? Are there options in the militants health system I can access?
A year and a half ago he was assaulted, arrested and charged with a DUI. Work finally made him go to counseling for alcohol abuse and he was diagnosed with PTSD and ADHD. In the assault his 2 front teeth were knocked out and he had extensive surgery. I was there with him the whole time, holding down a full time job, while going to school full time.
The first year of marriage after so much drama hasn't been easy, but I thought with time and love we could work through it like we always have. Unfortunately, he continues to drink, stay out all hours, and disengage himself from our lives. He was going to his therapist regularly at one point and even had a few non drinking past times and was working out.
About 2 months ago, I broke my foot. I got a cast and crutches and was homebound. I really had to depend on him, much like he depended on me when he was injured. It put a lot of strain on us, and I have to admit was depressed and not happy.
2 weeks ago he said he had enough and without even considering an alternative told me he wants a divorce. He stopped sleeping in our room, stays away days on end and won't communicate with me. I am still homebound and on crutches, and this is devestating to me. I have tried for days to change his mind to, get him to commit to counseling. He agrees and then changes his mind, doesn't think there is anything to save, and says he hasn't been happy for a long time, claims to be a bad person and that I shoukd fins someone else.
I don't know what to do, my insurance won't cover couples therapy and he says the army doesn't either. I want to believe there's hope for us, WE had good times and were happy, but he seems to have forgotten that and the whole vow 'in sickness and in health'. If I ask him for help he comes home for the task and heads back out the door.
I don't have military spouse friends, I don't have anyone to talk about his PTSD. We're on hold and in our state you have to seperate for 6 months before filing for divorce, but I have limited mobility and the stress of this situation is hindering my recovery. My friends, who don't have active spouses all suggest moving on and distancing myself, but we're married...and I can't let go.
I'm just looking for advice from any supporters who have had similar situations with their spouses. Did time and counseling help heal? Or did you have to let go? Are there options in the militants health system I can access?