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Sufferer My Introduction: Psychological/emotional, Physical, Sexual, And Verbal Abuse

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Gloww33

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Hi,

I am new here, don't want to make this too long. I am here for the same reasons as everyone else and I suffer with symptoms a lot at night, which is about now. I am thirty three, a mother of one great kido and I try to keep it together every day. I do a lot of silent suffering, meaning there is nobody that could possibly understand what I am experiencing, so I don't really talk about it. I know you all know what I am going through and that brings me a lot of comfort knowing I am not alone.

Warning: I am disclosing partial summery of trauma below, I will be careful to not be too graphic.

ptsd for me stemmed from life and death situations in early childhood, I suffered from psychological/emotional, physical, sexual, and verbal abuse. This started from birth until my late teenage years, but the first nine years of my life were some of the most terrifying psychologically. I was starved, neglected and often would be stripped of my clothes, beat, put in cold showers or my head would be forced into bathtubs filled with water or dunked in a sink (hot or cold water). Sometimes face down, sometimes face up. Many times it was taken too far and I nearly drowned to death. I survived this and many parent attempts of murder suicide by carbon monoxide, driving our family up on high cliffs and attempting to drive off....this is just a small bit of my life as a child just to give some examples of where my ptsd came from. I have done A LOT of healing, but ptsd never seems to go away...

Thanks for reading.
 
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Welcome @Gloww33... I come from a severely abusive childhood too. I don't know how I survived it. Now sometimes wishing I didn't. It is hard when no one understands. You feel like an alien in this world. BUT you've come to the right place. We all understand what you are going through. We are a friendly helpful bunch of misfits. Oh and there's great articles here in the "vault"
You are not alone and welcome again.
 
@Gloww33 welcome to the forum.

I literally went through almost everything you've posted too and I'm 28 with one child too. You are the 1st person I've met here who was also dunked (or as my father called it 'ducking'). I'm sorry to over familiarize and I am so sorry that you went through similar things.

Feel free to PM if you ever wish to talk more personally. Hope you're doing okay today and finding the site helpful
 
Thank you all, the site is proving to be very helpful. "G" you too then are the only person who has ever said they were punished by water this way. I may have questions for you when I get settled in here.
 
welcome to the site, you will find a lot of us that have went through similar things as you and hopefully you will find that you are not alone here.
 
I am 45 and I went thru life, with this complete feeling that I was a curse and that I was less than everyone else, due to my childhood trauma. It seemed like I was destined to been everyone's whipping post. I thought that was why I put here. Therapy is helping me a little but I wonder if I'll ever be normal.
 
@Gloww33

Welcome to the forum! One of the best things about this site is there are people here who really do get it and it can help immensely. I hope you find the information and support here beneficial to your healing.
 
Hello, I am new here too and I am very sorry to hear what you've been through. I grew up in an abusive home myself and was raped an as adult. Do you find it hard to fall asleep and have nightmares also?
 
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