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Sufferer My life i guess - csa

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Changa Tatum

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I was a bad kid when i was around 7 to 12 or atleast i think i was. It was at these times that I was touched cousin whom is 3 years older than me. He told me to keep it a secrete and not to tell my parents or no one. He always used to bully me and when i used to tell on him my grandma would go as in if that wasnt any big issue, you see I was borned in New Jersey since my parents met there. My mother is Mexican and my father is Puerto Rican and when I was a 1 year old we moved to Puerto Rico and have lived here ever since. Since that time I had 2 sisters and 1 brother which are the real guys I call family. When I was around 6 the same cousin who always bullied me touched me. He was abandoned my his mother when he was about 3 and used to live with his dad (my uncle) in my grandmother's house (they still do up to this day), im 21 btw. He told me that i had to stay quite and that i should tell anybody. To be honest i just felt happy i had a friend since where me and parents lived there werent any kids my age, only old people. So time passed and around when my sisters where 3 my cousin told me that they coulds get into the little secret and I did and that went on until they were 5. The thing is that i didnt know that was wrong, I thought that was the correct way of living i guess. I want to admit what ive done becaouse i feel bad, i feel wrong. I constantly feel depressed and when i want to go out and make friends i get stoped by the constant vizualization of my sisters vigina yelling at me to stop. This is affecting my social life in a great way, i dont make anyfriends, i dont enjoy partie, im not even going to my classes.
 
Welcome!

I was a bad kid when i was around 7 to 12 or atleast i think i was

No punkin...you were not a bad kid. You were an abused child. Big difference. And as you wander around this site you will find a lot of people you can talk with who know what you are going thru
 
Hi and Welcome to the forum.
I hope you find the information on here helpful and the people supportive - I know I have!
Regards, Lucy x
 
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