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My Mother, The Trigger

Discussion in 'General' started by nor, Oct 30, 2007.

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  1. nor

    nor Well-Known Member

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    grrrrr....I need to briefly vent about my mother......

    She had called while I was working out a problem with my insurance company. I had mentioned last year- only once - that I was seeing a psychiatrist. She simply dismissed it, and hasn't spoken about it, until now.

    When I told her that the insurance company was giving me a hard time about paying him, she laughed and said the he will probably drop me flat once he knows they wouldn't pay him. But being that I straightened it out, he sees me coming and will keep me going forever just to keep his pockets filled with money.

    I was raised to think that everyone has an agenda in life. It is usually to be successful and make lots of money. I have discussed this over with my doctor in great length-as every now and then the fear of his being interested only in the money, haunts me.

    She just really ticked me off. She is ssssooo capable of triggering any of my weaknesses. Here I continuously convice myself that seeing a therapist has been beneficial for myself and for my son's wellbeing. And she can knock it down in a second.

    nor
     
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  3. ruddy

    ruddy Active Member

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    nor,

    My mother has the same effect on me. I counter it by just not telling her much. Would it help to keep reminding yourself that you are doing this for yourself and your son, not your mother? If it's helping and your insurance pays, why stop?

    Best wished, Red
     
  4. Claire

    Claire Well-Known Member

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    Nor, I know that feeling, I no longer talk about things to my parents at all. It took a lot for me to go and see a therapist in the first place, to swallow my pride and when they would dismiss it or disagree it was really hard. Now, some years on I know that its just because of their own life experiences. They have never been as bad as I got and so how could they know how to deal with it. They were judging me by their own experience and position. Thats all, they aren't right and although it would be very nice to have their acceptance about this I now know I'll probably not get it and its a fight and/or journey I need to have on my own.

    If you think its helping you then keep going. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.
     
  5. EmoxxKid

    EmoxxKid Active Member

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    My father cause's the SAME effect on me. I can't really even talk to him on the phone....Blah. I understand.
     
  6. Marlene

    Marlene I'm a VIP Premium Member

    Nor,

    Not talking to your mom about these types of issues is probably the best thing. If someone is going to sabatage (deliberately or not) your recovery and your healing, it's best to keep them out of the loop.

    Take care of yourself.

    Lisa
     
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  7. nor

    nor Well-Known Member

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    Thanks Everyone,

    You are all right, and make very good points.

    I just need to stop talking to her about these things that mean so much to me. I did for awhile-actually I stopped talking to her for awhile altogether. But, as she and my dad have gotten older, I felt guilty for not seeing them more often.

    I just have to realize that I can see them, but I don't have to share everything with them.

    Many thanks all!

    nor
     
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  8. nie

    nie Wishing for wings to fly. Premium Member Donated

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    Nor,

    I can relate to the feelings of guilt. However, I think you said it just right when you said you don't have to share everything. Keep yourself in first place, and if that means not talking to your mom about it, then that is what you need to do. I know there are many things I don't discuss with my mom because she will just turn it around to be something wrong with me. -- Hang in there.

    nie
     
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  9. nor

    nor Well-Known Member

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    Thanks Nie

    I guess it is something that many of us face...

    nor
     
  10. pandora

    pandora I'm a VIP

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    Wow...this thread actually brought tears to my eyes. It is exactly what I need to do....stop telling her things too.
     
  11. nor

    nor Well-Known Member

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    Much easier said than done, Pandora......

    I getting together with her tomorrow, and my stomach is already in knots.
     
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