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M
moki
Hi Ptsd'd off,
These two questions are the big ones I have been wrestling with since last september. My urge to run away is strong, but I actually did make an offer on a house, they accepted, I paid ernest money, did the house inspection and was so depressed after the inspection that I backed out.
In other words, looking over the edge scared the hell out of me, and at least for now, not going anywhere is less painful than moving out.
I think if I could get come to terms with not being with my children everyday (which is imminent anyway since they're older), that I would be happier on my own.
I honestly think, after the intial trauma of splitting up, my husband would find someone else to do all of the outdoor things I can't do anymore. He is currently dominating my daughter's life and having her do all of this stuff with him (as a leader in a scout troop), but is terrified of what will happen when she goes to college and is no longer interested.
He says it wouldn't matter if I didn't do these things with him, but he's so into all the outdoor stuff and is how he copes with his issues, that I have a hard time believing it.
My children are the area that tugs at my heart the most. They are old enough that they are almost out of the house anyway, but the issue is that I need them as long as they are there.
I think the effect on them would be difficult and make them realize that the fantasy of our "perfect" family was not true after all. We tried so hard to make it be true all these years. It's hard to know how they would really react. I don't think they'd be angry, but would have a hard time figuring out how to split their time up between parents.
The only reason I'm trying at this marriage counseling is the fear of the alternative, which is leaving. I'm hoping that as we go through this process, I will want to be with him and the fear of leaving will dissipate.
Thanks for your thoughtful questions...
These two questions are the big ones I have been wrestling with since last september. My urge to run away is strong, but I actually did make an offer on a house, they accepted, I paid ernest money, did the house inspection and was so depressed after the inspection that I backed out.
In other words, looking over the edge scared the hell out of me, and at least for now, not going anywhere is less painful than moving out.
I think if I could get come to terms with not being with my children everyday (which is imminent anyway since they're older), that I would be happier on my own.
I honestly think, after the intial trauma of splitting up, my husband would find someone else to do all of the outdoor things I can't do anymore. He is currently dominating my daughter's life and having her do all of this stuff with him (as a leader in a scout troop), but is terrified of what will happen when she goes to college and is no longer interested.
He says it wouldn't matter if I didn't do these things with him, but he's so into all the outdoor stuff and is how he copes with his issues, that I have a hard time believing it.
My children are the area that tugs at my heart the most. They are old enough that they are almost out of the house anyway, but the issue is that I need them as long as they are there.
I think the effect on them would be difficult and make them realize that the fantasy of our "perfect" family was not true after all. We tried so hard to make it be true all these years. It's hard to know how they would really react. I don't think they'd be angry, but would have a hard time figuring out how to split their time up between parents.
The only reason I'm trying at this marriage counseling is the fear of the alternative, which is leaving. I'm hoping that as we go through this process, I will want to be with him and the fear of leaving will dissipate.
Thanks for your thoughtful questions...