1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

The Daily Dose

Get the last 24hrs of new topics delivered to your inbox.

Click Here to Subscribe

My Way To Fight Back

Discussion in 'Trauma Diaries' started by Snowwhite, Sep 20, 2013.

  1. Rain

    Rain Most people long for love and acceptance Premium Member Generous $250+

    32,922
    107,444
    56,143
    Well get ready for a soap opera because my life the past six months has been a real roller coaster ride.:happy::hug:
     
    Snowwhite and Anarchy like this.
  2. Register to participate in live chat, PTSD discussion and more.
  3. Anarchy

    Anarchy I'm a VIP

    3,779
    10,635
    4,953
    Good to see you posting!

    Congratulations on passing your thesis! And good luck with the final semester!

    Really well done for sticking with the emdr.

    Hugs to you and the old doggy!
    @
     
    Snowwhite and Rain like this.
  4. Snowwhite

    Snowwhite I'm a VIP Donated

    1,093
    3,506
    1,283
    Thanks, guys :happy: you're awesome.

    Today is one of my tougher days. I've been feeling quite vulnerable lately, and today I feel like I'm on the verge of crying. No real reason for it, just an accumulation of everything that's been going on, I guess.

    I need something positive in my life, something that gives my life more structure. But whenever I start working on something, I tend to overexert myself, which then impacts the amount of work I can do. One thing that I know makes me really happy is having a dog. I don't have one of my own, I only have our family dog that I see once every 2 weeks, on average. And I really bonded with my last foster dog. She was really calm and affectionate, perfect for me. So I let the organisation know that if she becomes available for adoption, I really want to take her. I think we would have the best time together. But currently she's only a foster dog, and she still has (crappy) owners that can ask for her back when they get their life together. Fingers crossed they decide to give her up.
     
    Anarchy, intothelight and Rain like this.
  5. Rain

    Rain Most people long for love and acceptance Premium Member Generous $250+

    32,922
    107,444
    56,143
    I am crossing my fingers as well for the both of you. I am sorry that you are having a tough day. I hope something helps to lift your spirit today so that you will feel more like you when you are having a good day.:hug:
     
    Anarchy and Snowwhite like this.
  6. Snowwhite

    Snowwhite I'm a VIP Donated

    1,093
    3,506
    1,283
    Thanks for the hugs and the support, @Rain :hug: :hug:

    Yesterday I was feeling ill, and I'm still not feeling great, but it's better today. I have got tissues lying around everywhere, it's pretty gross, lol.
    I've been feeling a little down and sad lately, but that seems to be improving as well. There's still no news on the dog. I really miss her.

    One thing that has been very good about last week is that I finally went kickboxing again. I've been wanting to do that for a very long time. I took an introduction course a few years back and I liked it, but I hated that the little hall it was in had a whole wall with mirrors, like in a dance studio. I really didn't like seeing myself while exercising; it hurt my focus and my self confidence.
    This time, however, I went somewhere else with a close friend of mine. There were no mirrors, the trainer was a regular guy (instead of the perfectly muscular, polished types at my old gym), and the training was simple but effective. I have not worked out this hard for a very long time. Afterwards, my hands were shaking, I could barely lift my arms and I was exhausted, but I felt awesome. Especially when the trainer told me I was picking it up quite quickly :) That made me feel really empowered, and I still feel that way now.
    So I'm going to make this a weekly thing. It's nice to be this excited about something again. I needed that.

    My classes at uni start in early October, because I only have to pass one more course to get my BSc. This course is one of my least favourite of all time, but I'm looking forward to getting into the work flow again. I will have to pace myself, because I tend to go all in on something and then end up too exhausted and stressed to function. That's another reason to keep kickboxing: the stress relief and distraction will come in handy.

    My T is on a vacation at the moment, but I have a new appointment later this week. We're getting close to the end of the EMDR of my main trauma, but we both feel that I probably could use some more treatment after that. One of my main goals is to no longer have to take antidepressants, and right now I still really need them. It's a scary thought, to be finished with EMDR and not feel like I'm 100% better yet. I don't want to feel weak and damaged anymore. It's not who I am.

    I'm probably going to spend today doing nothing but watching Netflix and doing some cleaning. I've stocked up on soup, breadsticks, natural nasal spray and fresh fruit juice. I'm hoping that taking good care of myself will help me kick this cold more quickly.
     
    Anarchy and Rain like this.
  7. Rain

    Rain Most people long for love and acceptance Premium Member Generous $250+

    32,922
    107,444
    56,143
    Still hoping that you will get the dog or find out something very soon so as not to leave you hanging. Crossing my fingers for you and supporting you through the down time. Love and support:hug::hug::hug:
     
    Anarchy and Snowwhite like this.
  8. Snowwhite

    Snowwhite I'm a VIP Donated

    1,093
    3,506
    1,283
    Thank you, Rain :hug: :hug: :hug:

    You're right, I just really want to know what to expect. If I can't have the dog, I want to know so I can maybe adopt another one from a shelter. I feel like having the right dog would help me stay stable and be happy. And I know I would love it with all my heart. I'll post it here if I get any news.
     
    Anarchy and Rain like this.
  9. Snowwhite

    Snowwhite I'm a VIP Donated

    1,093
    3,506
    1,283
    I think I'm almost over my cold, which must be some sort of record for me; it usually lasts weeks! I'm very pleased that enough rest and healthy eating can actually mean I can get over a cold in a normal period of time.

    Tonight I'm going kickboxing again, and I'm really looking forward to it. It's a bit scary for me, because I'm going to go alone. A friend of my friend will be there as well, but I've only seen him once or twice. However, my friend told me he'd like to go kickboxing with me. I'm not sure what that means, but I'm glad he seems to like me as a person. For some reason I always assume that new people will dislike me. It's nice to hear that's not the case this time.

    I've been really bored sitting at home doing nothing, and I'm very much looking forward to kicking some heavy bag ass tonight :D
     
    Rain and Anarchy like this.
  10. Rain

    Rain Most people long for love and acceptance Premium Member Generous $250+

    32,922
    107,444
    56,143
    Have fun!:happy::hug::hug::hug:
     
    Anarchy and Snowwhite like this.
  11. Snowwhite

    Snowwhite I'm a VIP Donated

    1,093
    3,506
    1,283
    Rain and Anarchy like this.
Loading...
Similar Threads - Fight
  1. Pheril
    Replies:
    6
    Views:
    530
Show Sidebar