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My Wife Just Told Me To Go Kill Myself Because Of My Combat Related Ptsd

Discussion in 'Military & Emergency Services' started by Jason Foreman, Sep 9, 2016.

  1. Jason Foreman

    Jason Foreman New Member

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    I bought one called the ptsd work book and it was sub pat so I will aquire the book you mentioned
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 9, 2016
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  3. Jason Foreman

    Jason Foreman New Member

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    If she don't she's worse off than me lol
     
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  4. Zoogal

    Zoogal I'm a VIP

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    Screw the VA go elsewhere if they won't help your life is worth it. That book is more than a workbook and I hope it helps
     
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  5. Fadeaway

    Fadeaway I'm a VIP

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    We hear you, we hear your cries, and you are not alone. It sucks that certain people in your life don't seem to care but we do and we feel your pain. My best advice is to sleep for as long as you can, in a few days it will be a tiny bit better but enough to clearly think of a plan to improve your situation with our help.
     
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  6. Casey_03

    Casey_03 I'm a VIP

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    If the VA isn't working, and nothing you're doing right now is having any effect, you need to map out all your options and start implementing changes. They don't even necessarily have to be big changes at first, but you have to try to pick yourself up enough to at least take baby steps. We can help you do it.

    Brainstorm and come up with all the different ways you can change the current situation -- is there anyone in your life you haven't reached out to yet (not necessarily doctors, but perhaps old friends or someone who will be willing to listen and talk to you with empathy)? Is there anyone in your family who can help or any relatives you can visit (sometimes a change of scenery helps make things clearer, but if you feel really unstable, maybe that's not the best idea -- up to you)?

    Can you try finding another therapist, one not through the VA? Some therapists are willing to drastically cut their rates if you explain things to them. And last -- and maybe this will sound stupid -- but are there any hobbies or interests that you used to have that you might be able to resume now? I realize that sounds quite silly, and it's hard to take an interest in anything when depressed, but that was always my way of picking myself up again -- just forcing myself to DO something to change the routine and get a change of scenery ...

    About your wife -- I think she probably just said that out of frustration. I'm sure it was painful, but I doubt she meant it. And I'm sure that she is hurting inside because she doesn't know how to help you, or is unable to do so. There is nothing more painful than watching someone you love suffer and being unable to do anything to help them -- and it's that kind of pain that usually triggers statements like the one she made.
     
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  7. rosey

    rosey Active Member

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    No it is not the answer. My husband once told me to get a knife and finish the job properly. So i get the confusion that you must be feeling. My respect for my husband went with those words i am still with him because he refuses to leave but my heart has left him.

    Just try to put the words to one side for the moment care for yourself until the suicidal thought ease or go then address it with her.
     
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  8. Jason Foreman

    Jason Foreman New Member

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    Hey thanks guys you made it happen found a mental hospital at 0330 per your advice and get to see some one at 10:00 named Robert so you all are great thanks
     
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  9. Stickler

    Stickler I'm a VIP

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    Oh, good! Keep us posted!
     
  10. Jason Foreman

    Jason Foreman New Member

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    Will do I never thought I could go to the sacramento's county mental health I guess there is one called heritage oak on auburn Blvd one called Sierra vista in south Sacramento across from Kaiser hospital and this one on Stockton Blvd across from UC Davis in case anyone ever wants to know locations that are not Mather VA
     
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  11. honeycomb

    honeycomb New Member

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    OH Jason, I know how tiring all of this PTSD shit can be. It seems that we are always pushing a boulder up a hill just to exist.....especially when we are in a low frame of mind or mood. I feel saddened that your wife would say such a thing to you but she did. Sounds like your whole family is struggling so much. I am 59 years old and have struggled since childhood and being in the Navy............Just remember, Life isn't ALWAYS one way or another. It just seems that way when we are in a dark place. Everything is in constant motion and changing. If I had killed myself I would have missed out on so much. I still feel suicidal at least 2 or 3 times a month but I have learned to put boundaries around those feelings because I really do not want to die. I just want the pain to stop. I heard that killing myself is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I also read a quote In a book years ago that has saved me many times over. It said: "the question of suicide: keep it a question it isn't an answer" Anyway, I am still here and it has been worth it. I have changed a lot over the years and I am sure that you will too as will your family. Most of us change for the better is my belief. I want to live so I keep paying the dues for the F%^&&ed up parts of my life and keep moving forward. I hope you know that you are not alone. Keep reaching out like you have, like I am now. I came here tonight because I too am in pain. This is my first time here. I am glad that I found this sight. for the first time in my life I do not feel alone. Peace my brother. Breathe. Perhaps take a step back and shift your mind to something else for a bit. Read a book. Take a shower. Better yet draw something..........anything. It may help to ground you. Just some suggestions. I am sure that you have your go to's.
     
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  12. Abstract

    Abstract I'm a VIP Premium Member

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    That is fantastic that you have managed to take action like that. Well done. I think there are always options when we feel there are none at all. I try to remind myself of that these days when the thoughts come. I know that despair and feeling trapped (as well as trauma coming up in general) are huge fuel to my suicidal ideation. You can do this. Keep fighting to get the help you deserve.

    Did your wife say that to you spontaneously? Its a dreadful thing to say. I just ask as sometimes people threaten and threaten to complete suicide and the person on the receiving end becomes overwhelmed sometimes feels manipulated and reacts in unhelpful ways. It would still be bad if this is the case. If she did say it spontaneously then is this vindictive unkind behaviour typical of her? What is her biggest difficulty with what you are dealing with now?

    Please take care, You are important.
     
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  13. Ka-9

    Ka-9 Active Member

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    I'd never interfere with someone's personal relationships, so i'd just give you my 2 cents for your own contemplation..

    I had way ups/downs with my wife (15 years together), but she learned/or adjusted? I dunno..... regardless she accomodates my condition, and that in turn effects me positively to really work hard, or do something with her as much as I'm able. Easy or not, she's scrappy so it works.

    If she were completely unsupportive, or just too frustrated It would definitelty effect my condition for the worse. Not blaming any spouse, but you don't have to be in a relationship with anyone if it's pulling you too the edge. Stay positive, but take care of yourself for now. Hell, if you can make some improvements for you self first...maybe that reciprocal effect might ignite.... and for the mean time you can acctually tell her you're shifting into second to try and contribute to the betterment of the situation.

    Good luck, and don't settle for27th round therapist draft picks.... find one that makes you feel good.
     
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