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Near meltdowns, can't focus enough for course, + is homelessness ptsd a thing?

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LanaD

Confident
Hi all,

I was off here and out of therapy for a while and was doing fine, but now I'm - I'm not even sure what really, and sorry if this is the wrong forum.

I haven't worked in a long time and want to take a course to freshen up my resume, but I just can't focus. In the past 2 years I had a handful of decent nights of sleep (I counted 2 in the past 6 months), and there are days when I wonder how I'm still able to function at all. I forget things all the time and sometimes I feel like an invalid and it's scary. I used to have such a sharp mind.

Thing is my PTSD treatment worked well, but I'm wondering if I've a new type of PTSD or trauma: I was sort of homeless for a while, not as in living on the streets but as in moving from temporary house to temporary apartment, and whenever I have to move again, like now, my mind shuts down and simply refuses to deal with the issue. I noticed that those familiar symptoms of depression are all there, too.

My friends have helped me but it's gotten to the point that they think I should just deal. They listened but weren't exactly supportive with my initial PTSD ("sexual assault happens to every woman" was the overall attitude). But I can't just deal. The thought of having to move again, without having steady income - it's all overwhelming and I'm doing the best I can but half the time it feels like I'm just struggling to get from one day to the next. My friends, all of whom have nice little homes in nice little safe neighborhoods, don't understand. I feel so alone, which obviously doesn't help.

I'd really appreciate some support.

Thank you!
 
Irrespective of whether or not there's been another PTSD type wounding... the big two that jump out for me is the sleep issues/deprivation and depression.
 
Irrespective of whether or not there's been another PTSD type wounding... the big two that jump ou...

Thanks, @The Albatross. I've tried meditation, exercise, teas - whatever I thought could help but I just can't sleep well. I'm going to see my GP but not sure what he can do, as in the past he wasn't able to help. I feel like I can't sleep till I have a stable home.
 
I feel like I can't sleep till I have a stable home.
Totally understand this. I am currently having these same issues. Must move but so activated when these issues come up that I can't cope/deal. Totally throws me off and makes me non functional.

I have some outreach workers helping me currently? People who can help me to find a place. I am still reacting, but it is taking the pressure off. Do you have any sort of social network where you are that can help you?
 
Totally understand this. I am currently having these same issues. Must move but so activated when the...

Thanks for your comment. I pay taxes into a system that's *supposed* to help me when I'm in need but they simply refuse to - they say I'm not in the priority group, which right now includes migrants (they're all pushed to the front of the social housing wait list, and we tax paying idiots are literally left out in the cold). Friends always help me with places to stay and send me leads, but housing is very expensive in my area and/or landlords require tenants to have full-time work contracts. Believe me, I've tried every single thing I could (even getting a job as au pair for a while just to have housing).

Right now I'm renting what should have been a permanent room but the woman I'm renting from turned out to be a total c*nt and I've to move out again. I did ask myself if it's me, but I don't know what I could possibly be doing wrong - I pay my rent on time, I'm clean, and I generally stay in my room. The only solution I see right now is leaving my friends and the city I call home for the next city where I could work, meaning I'd have to give up my life in a time when I just started getting over a whole bunch of other crap.
 
we tax paying idiots are literally left out in the cold
Hmmmm, I could have sworn you were talking about Canada. Same thing here. I suspect in many other countries as well.

Believe me, I've tried every single thing I could
The stress of this kind of stuff alone, let alone with PTSD, is absolutely overpoweringly overwhelming, isn't it? I am very sorry to hear you are having such difficulties. I am not sure if it helps or not, but know that you aren't alone. Yes, I think that unstable housing situations are very common with PTSD affected people. And no, you aren't crazy. It is stressful beyond words.
 
Hmmmm, I could have sworn you were talking about Canada. Same thing here. I suspect in many other co...

People don't understand how overwhelming it is. As I said, even my friends, who of all people are supposed to at least be on my side, don't get it. Btw, I saw this on The Guardian's website and shared my story. Interesting how they include "sofa surfers" in stats. I used to think homeless were only those who slept on the streets but here I am. I can't quite believe it.
 
. I used to think homeless were only those who slept on the streets
It's tragic but this is the common perception.

In my city, the bulk of inner-city homeless people sleep rough and are, indeed, male. We do have an increasing variety of services available for this form of homelessness (where I live), although not nearly enough to do much about solving the problem.

Outside the inner city, we have a similarly huge number of homeless people. But that demographic is primarily women (and women with kids), and they are more likely to be living transient - sleeping in a car parked in a friends drive, couch surfing, etc. That particular form of homelessness? People aren't aware of the problem, so we really aren't doing anything about it. Because of that common misconception about what a 'homeless person' is. You'll often find that even people working in services designed specifically to assist homeless people will have this same idea, and will direct services in favour of those fitting the stereotype. A bit like a 'not homeless enough' measure. Urgh!

Homelessness is a far larger and more complex problem than the familiar stereotype of the weird looking man with a trolley sleeping on the park bench. But homelessness in pretty much any form? We can know has an incredibly devastating effect on a person's mental health.

Secure and safe housing is on the foundation level of Maslow's heirarchy for good reason. So keep it a priority to find yourself somewhere that feels safe, and offers some stability. Use any and every available support service, because your homelessness is just as legitimate as anyone else's, even if it doesn't fit the stereotypical version.
 
How do you eat an elephant?

A big old elephant kicking you out of your home. Stomping around in your brain. Casting confusion all over the place. Politics, and stress. Fear, and hate. You cant take on ptsd, look how big it is!

But it's got little toes. You can't just beat ptsd without help, but you can bite the shit out of those toes. When that elephant robbed me of reason I would use the voice it didn't take yet. "I am standing on the sidewalk. I am holding a ciggarette in my left hand. The wind is cold on my neck." And pow. When I said those words a little bit of the haze was gone. I could remember how I got there and what I was doing. When I was freezing out in the woods, I stood up and walked to someplace warmer. Still in the woods, still cold, but better. It sounds trifle, but these small things really worked for me.

Doesn't sound like you have as much support as you might want. That's okay, because you got you, and you got us. That's probably enough.

One bite at a time.
 
How do you eat an elephant?

A big old elephant kicking you out of your home. Stomping around in your b...

Thanks for your kind words. What you're saying is "be in the now," and yes, that makes sense. I have to make some pretty big decisions right now, or at least they seem like really big decisions. Having a home would make everything else bearable, though.

Meantime my city is announcing they're allocating an extra 2 million euros for migrant housing. This is in addition to the several thousand already allocated and being built. A couple months ago I had to pay my taxes and I have no home. I can't even explain how intensely horrible this feels.
 
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