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Need advise and tips about when a restraining order is filed against you need support too.

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Deleted member 12723

I do not know if this is in the right spot so please mods move it to the right forum if I have placed this in the wrong forum. Thank you.

I have an adult Narcissistic daughter with two grandkids and the past two months have been a nightmare for me. It started with my daughter false accusing me of molesting my youngest granddaughter twelve years ago when she was an infant.

I have been through the wringer and tried to maintain minimal contact with the grandkids.

A few days ago she hacked into a facebook account harrassing me. Now she is going to file a restraining order against me. I think she will lie on the form for her reasons for filing.

I can use all of the help and support I can get, because frankly I am scared even though I have not harrassed her or the kids, nor have I made any threats. I need some advice of how to get help for myself because i do not have any money. I am dreading the weekend, I live alone and do not want to be in my head and I have to go pick up a prescription for a anxiety med that is not a benzo. I need some common sense advice please and any help or tip available to any of you as soon as possible. I think she is filing today and since it is the weekend, I know nothing will happen yet.

Please walk me through this process step by step and help me to figure out the best way I can go to court and protect myself if you have been through the process and tell me what you learned please. Thank any of you of you who can assist me.
 
As I mentioned in your other thread.... The biggest thing you can do to protect yourself.... DO NOT engage her in any manner. If she calls, HANG UP. If she emails you, save it but do not respond. If she harasses you online. COPY it, but do not respond. Just document, document, document, but do not engage her at all......
 
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@Rain
I've been following along in your trauma diary so I kinda know some of the background.
First, breathe. K? If what all you said in your TD is true then you actually have a case against her.
You need to find a way to show documentation of who the car belonged to, who was paying on it, and that she was not providing insurance. That's all just background stuff to help set the stage. Have all communication that you've had with her prior about this in order. This is all to show escalation.

You need to get in touch with Facebook and find out if there is a way that you can show that you were hacked. I'm no expert but I'm willing to bet that they can show you IP addresses of who logged on and when. Those IP addresses will point to her. Get FB to help. They may have records of things that were posted and pulled down.

Ask FB friends if they have any screen shots of what WAS posted (privately but beware that they might not appreciate being pulled into the fray)

I've been on the other side of this: filing. She is going to have to show a burden of proof that you were doing something to her when she files.
It will take up to a month or more to get a court date and they will serve you with papers before it's all official. So right now, if she's not had you served this is all just more sound and fury.
That is so she goes to court for the TEMPORARY order.

Then you go to court later to defend yourself over the permanent order.

Again. Breathe.

Meanwhile, I would recommend like @She Cat says to document everything and do not respond.

OH and just so you know, once the temp order is in place ALL communications- including those that are passed through someone else, and electronic are a no fly zone.

BE HONEST about your communications with your grandchild. No sense in hiding it. You contacted him. Get that stuff somehow off your phone and on a document. Talk to your phone company.

I would recommend that you get your paperwork sorted, gather your own evidence and look at filing your own order of protection.
Get help from someone who's willing to work pro-bono. You mentioned calling a women's shelter at one point, call them and talk to them about who can help. Get someone to help fill out the paperwork. When you talk to the lawyer, get some sort of timeline down on paper before you go in so you can share it succinctly and with as little fuss for you as possible. Your TD has dates and times that you wrote about stuff, use it for your own records if need be. That way you aren't trying to think back and guess at dates.

Action will make you feel more in control. Try not to stew but rather use the extra energy to research and get your stuff in order.

Did I mention that you should BREATHE?
 
Thanks @She Cat I have her phone blocked, I do not think she has my email and I will not engage her at all, I will ignore her from now on. I think it may help that I am leaving my family alone as well. I will document as things appear, but this really makes me nervous.

It is true that I have done nothing wrong and so I am not guilty. Thanks I will hang onto the truth.
 
@desiderata310 thank you so much! Exactly what I was looking for. I have not been served yet. I will have to start documenting now. Your info was very useful. I also appreciate the fact that others will not want to be involved in this. I have to make some calls and find out what things people can help me with.

The car has been taken from her and she has all of the paperwork so it is a no go there sadly. I do not have anything but a bill I think. I have a number I can call for some assistance.

I am trying to breathe. Thank you for that too.:hug:
 
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