• 💖 [Donate To Keep MyPTSD Online] 💖 Every contribution, no matter how small, fuels our mission and helps us continue to provide peer-to-peer services. Your generosity keeps us independent and available freely to the world. MyPTSD closes if we can't reach our annual goal.

Need Help With a Decision

Status
Not open for further replies.

kmm

New Here
I am hoping it is ok to post another thread? I appreciate everyone's responses to my other post!

I am feeling so jumbled up and uncertain and afraid right now! I really need help sorting through some things......

My husband has been asked to relocate again for his job - probably within the next month- and with the knowledge that he may be asked to relocate again in the next 2-6 months.

We have moved so much (3 times) in the last year - 2 of those times I did the moves alone because he was on a buisness trip - and had so much in the way of change and upheaval/stress.

I am just wanting someone else to help me think this through because I am feeling overwhelmed. And they want an answer about whether we'd be willing by Monday.....then they would make an offer......

The move would be back to a place we've already lived that we really liked. It felt like home - we were there the longest we've ever been anywhere - 3 years. And so we have friends there.... It would also be a little closer to our families - about 9 hours closer - still leaves a whole lot of distance between us & our families, but 9 hours is a big chunk to deduct.

Where we are now, I don't really like the house or the area. I'm not attached to anything or anybody because we haven't been here long enough. However, my daughter has started school here - and the school year is going to start again next week. Also, I've just accepted a new job - which I have been working toward for many months. Although, honestly, it triggers me quite a bit, and I'm not sure it's the best job for me.

Unfortunately, I don't want to have to make ANY kind of a decision right now. I know my husband would really like to make the move back to where we were before, and I have so many concerns about that, not to mention I am already having a very difficult time dealing with symptoms - adding the chaos and upheaval associated with a move? I don't know. I am really scared about even thinking about this decision!

Can anyone help with what to do with this?
 
Since he is going to be relocated again if you do move this time why would you move now? If it were me, I would decline. Why move twice when you only have to move once?

You stated you don't like where you are and you don't care about your job. But you do like the place where you would be relocated to. It seems you know the pros and cons of moving and staying.

However, you end the post stating you're having difficult time with symptoms and the chaos and upheaval would???????????? Yes, you seem to already know that you don't want to do it because it would make things worse. So don't do it.

Hope this was helpful
Tammy
 
What a difficult decision. It's hard when there are pros and cons for whatever decision you make.

It sounds like the big positives for relocating now are being near people you have already connected to and being closer to family, who are also another big support. On the downside, moving is a challenge. Could any of your friends or family come help, at least on settling into the new place? That might ease the transition.

Maybe it would help if you made a list of what you need in order to feel more stable, either if you stay where you are or if you move.
 
If you are being triggered now, it may not make a difference eigther way as far as PTSD goes. Your going to be triggered, it is time to put supports in place:doh:
 
Would the offer Monday include staying put at the new place for at least (Fill in a time frame you like)?
Are they the new employer paying all your expenses for the move?
Yes, make a list of pros and cons to read; the list may help you two decide.
 
When I was asked to move up north for my job, they moved me. Not only did they arrange for the movers, but they sent professional PACKERS who put everything in boxes (which they brought), then the movers showed up and took it all. It was the easiest move I ever had.
If you do it, can you negotiate for something like this? It's them that want you to go----can you tell them that you will only do it if the company arranges for packers and movers so that it lessens all the work for you?
It sounds to me like you would be returning to a place that you liked and had friends (and supports).
But I agree with Kers and 2Quilt----make a list. I love making lists of pros and cons----they really help make things clear for me!

Rivergirl
 
Thank You all so much for your responses! It has helped so much to get some input that is so calming. My mind has been really jumbled up and I've been really emotional about the whole thing. I did make a pros and cons list - it helped a bunch. I figured out I need some questions answered by the company before I can make a good decision - so we'll start there.... I am most appreciative of all of your thoughtful insights! Thank you so much!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top