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Relationship Need Help

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Chadwick

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My wife suffers from ptsd and ocd since she was 15 and she is now 45. She refuses counseling and meds. We have been together for 14 months and for the past 6 months it has been a nightmare to be around her. She constantly emotionally abuses me and puts me down and i can't get the strength to walk away. She says that i am manipulating her if i recommend that we go together and get help. She quit her job and told me that since i am a Godly man, that would mean that i am responsible for all bills and she will take care of the house. She said that she is suprised that we are still together since her past relationships have only lasted around 2 months. Can someone please help me?
 
Do you know what caused her ptsd? It sounds like she's testing you a bit, maybe to see if you'll stay or not? If she's unwilling to help herself, I'm not sure things will improve, she has to want to get better. It all depends how much you are prepared to tolerate, and if you love her enough to keep at it? Have you told her how the emotional abuse is making you feel? Communication with her is key.
 
Do you know what caused her ptsd? It sounds like she's testing you a bit, maybe to see if you'll stay or no...
She said it started once she was put in a home for children that did not mind parents. She said her parents thought that she was sleeping with lots of different guys at the time and she says that she wasn't. Once she was out of the program she went on a date with a guy she met in the program and he raped her and she became pregnant. Her mom made her marry this guy and she was forced by him to serve food at sex parties. Here lately when i try to fix her coffee or anything i do for her she will acuse me of trying to steal her freedom. She said it happened once and that it won't be stolen again. I will tell her that i just want to help and she will say that is a manipulating thing to say. She is against me seeing a counselor to help myself for the pressure she is putting on me. About every 3 months she will have a huge angry outburst and make me leave for a few days. I offered to leave permanently because i feel that is what she wants put she says she wants me forever. Thank you for responding.
 
Do you know what caused her ptsd? It sounds like she's testing you a bit, maybe to see if you'll stay or no...
She says she wants us together forever but it doesn't seen that way. She gave her 15 year old daughter $6,000 to buy anything that she wants and told me that i will have to pick up extra hours to pay the bills.
 
If she isn't prepared to get help for herself, then you can't help her.

Just because she has PTSD is not an excuse for her behaviour, and in no way do you have to cover the money she gave her daughter. My husband asks me before giving his son £20!

You need to talk to her about how you feel (without making her feel attacked if possible).

Maybe consider the following: Do you get any affection or appreciation? Do you get anything positive from the relationship? Or is it just wearing you down and affecting your mental health?
 
You don't deserve to be (emotionally, financially, and so on...) abused. If she doesn't want to change, the chances of your situation improving are slim. I know it is hard to leave an abusive relationship, but please believe me when I say that you deserve so much better. I think it's quite telling that she's never had a relationship last more than two months prior to you. I think it's important to examine your reasons for staying with her when she treats you so poorly. Remember, love isn't abusive.
 
If she isn't prepared to get help for herself, then you can't help her.

Just because she has PTS...
I feel that she was really good to me until the past 6 months. She will continuously say hurtful stuff until i would cry and once i would cry she will be screaming at me that i am to emotionally needy. My doctor has recently put me on Prozac and klonopin.
 
You don't deserve to be (emotionally, financially, and so on...) abused. If she doesn't want to ch...
She says with me helping her with stuff that I don't realize it but I am taking her freedom away and if i don't help with every little thing she says I'm neglecting my duties as a husband. It's so confusing. She says if i leave and she looses everything then it is my fault.
 
Its a very difficult situation you are in. If she do not except she need help there is very little you can do.. But ask yourself are you prepared to deal with this ? are you prepared to work harder and she spent more and more spenidng will not stop.. It will only increase ?

You don't need to take this type of abuse :hug:... I think she need the Prozac and klonopin...

She is playing on your consiouns :wideeyed: I know that feeling.. Don't allow that in your heard she had nothing you are not responsible for her actions ..
 
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