• 💖 [Donate To Keep MyPTSD Online] 💖 Every contribution, no matter how small, fuels our mission and helps us continue to provide peer-to-peer services. Your generosity keeps us independent and available freely to the world. MyPTSD closes if we can't reach our annual goal.

Need To Vent. Anyone Had/have A Similar Experience?

Status
Not open for further replies.
Ok so I don't really know where I'm going with this, but I need to get it out and I want to know if there is anyone with a similar experience because I feel like I'm going crazy.

So I'm 23, for years I've had weird physical things happen... probably since about the age of 15. I have had migraines and stomach migraines since 4 but other than that was physically a fairly healthy child besides a few rounds of chicken pox, measles, flus/colds, stomach viruses and a few urinary tract infections.
Since about 15 I've had weird things on and off, my speech goes funny every now and then for a few days/weeks, random sensations of water dripping down my leg, back pain, neck pain, numness/tingling, feeling like I have really thick blood (like its too thick for my veins/arteries or my veins are too small), headaches, dizziness, twitching/jolting in a limb or muscle, feeling shakey inside, tremors, extreme tiredness, hard to walk, slurred/mumbled speech, electric shock/strong pins &needles, weakness, constant cramp in my leg for a few days every now and then on and off, stabbing pains in my face, excruciating stabbing pains in my stomach for hours, blurred vision, spots in my eyes without headache, random stabbing pains, hard to swallow/breathe, crunching sensation in my back when I breathe/bend, tight feeling around waist/chest like I'm being hugged tightly, rush of adrenaline from the bottom of my feel up to the top of my head then down again, one part of my finger feeling bruised with no cause for days then goes away then comes back a few days later in the exact same spot but nothing visibly bruised. I understand that some of these things are probably due to anxiety.. although I don't feel anxious a lot of the time when I experience the symptoms of anxiety, I think my body and mind quite often disconnect.
All of these things last days to weeks, they come on randomly and not all at the same time, usually its only 1 or 2 of those things that are there during those days/weeks. anyway just a bunch of weirdness.

Writing this down makes me feel like I'm a huge whinger but I haven't spoken about all of this with anyone except a few weeks back when I was rushed to hospital because I had symptoms of a stroke, I couldn't connect my words to my thoughts and wasn't making sense/slurring, weakness/numbness down one side, and blood pressure was very high.
That combination of things had never happened before and it came on so suddenly that it scared me. Anyway many tests later and no results. I saw a neurologist and after asking several questions he asked me whether I suffer from depression or anxiety.
Whilst I don't believe that I currently do, I am diagnosed with CPTSD but I just mentioned to him that I have suffered with depression and anxiety in the past and as soon as I said that he didn't bother to do any further tests, he was going to and consulted with another neurologist and was planning a few more tests but as soon as I mentioned those words he didn't bother and said it's nothing. Then he said it could possibly be Functional neurolgical disorder?

Its why I never go to doctors, firstly I don't like being physically examined, its stresses me out big time and secondly because as soon as I mention anything to do with mental health.. suddenly everything is because of that. While I don't dismiss the idea that a lot of it or maybe even all of it (I really don't believe so though) could be to do with a long history of sexual abuse, self harm and depression/anxiety.. I don't want that to be the only thing they put it down to.

I guess I just want them to take me seriously, and they did until I brought up mental health words.

I would be happy if that's the conclusion they come to after exploring all other options or at least discussing with me other possibilities or things I can do to help because some of the things that are happening are really starting to get in the way of my life.

I'm now in constant pain and I still go to work and do most things I'm invited to etc (the mental battle to go out and do those things is hard enough but now adding in pain etc it's becoming a war each time) I eat painkillers (over the counter) like candy some days just to function without being so grumpy and touchy because of the pain. IM becoming slower at work.and it's exhausting me and I don't want ANY of these things to become an excuse.
I keep telling myself it's all in my head because I gets that's what the doctor thinks so if it's in my head then I should just be able to push through it but it's not easing. I'm exhausted. The pain is becoming unbearable and mind over matter isn't working. I'm pushing myself to keep up with all my commitments and things but I'm very quickly reaching my limit.
I'm 23 and in good shape otherwise but I feel like my body is letting me down, my mind is only just beginning to head down the path of recovery but my body feels as if it's failing me. I'm trying to not let it bother me and I don't complain, although this whole thing I've written is just one huge complaint.

I don't know what to do. I feel like something isn't right. A huge part of me is telling me not to care because what does it matter, I deserve every bit of pain I have and more, but there's a part of me that wants to be well and get well but I dont know how to get physically well if apparently it's my mind that is sick? My mind is slowly healing but my body is getting worse. I don't understand. I think the doctor is taking the easy way out but I'm way to passive in real life to stand up for myself, and there's no way I would push them to explore further because it probably is that I'm just an idiot and that I'm weak and pathetic and am just complaining. Plus I see a doctor like every 3 years or so (besides a psychologist) so I don't even have a regular one.

I don't know why I wrote all this, I guess I'm just exhausted and I don't know where to go from here. I feel like a baby.

Has anyone else got weird things that happen to them? Is there anything that helps any of these symptoms? Am I just crazy? Is it all in my head? Do doctors take patients with a mental health history seriously? What should I do next? If it is all in my head... what then? How do I fix this? Ignoring it isn't making it any better :(
 
Last edited:
Some of these things could be related to mental health issues but there's a few on the list that I've never heard anyone here saying they've suffered from just due to mental health issues.but I'm no doctor so I really don't know.

I know it sucks I don't go to the doctor unless I have to too. But I think it's the only thing that'll give you definitive answers. And yes I've been treated poorly before because they've seen in my file or asked and I was honest about my mental health issues. I've been sent home with antidepressants for a chest infection, they thought it was anxiety he didn't even listen to my chest. But I've also been treated really well you just have to find a good doctor.

I have physical symptoms when I'm depressed aches and pains. Anxiety sometimes makes me feel like I can't swallow and also can give me tension migraines. Sickness and the shits, fatigue, I'm sure there's more I can't think of.

But even if it is psychosomatic that doesn't mean you're not suffering and in pain you deserve to be treated and helped. Please be careful with over the counter pain meds they can be really hard on your stomach.
 
Some of these things could be related to mental health issues but there's a few on the list th...
Thanks so much for taking the time to reply :)
Antidepressants for a chest infection? That's insane! It takes seconds to listen to a chest! Probably quicker then it would be to write out a prescription for antidepressants .
I'm glad you've found a good doctor.
Yes, I'm trying to be careful with over the counter meds, I've overdosed in the past with the intent to harm so I should probably avoid them as much as possible, and I do try too but it becomes too much sometimes.

Thank you for sharing your experience with me, I appreciate it greatly :)
 
Some of what you are describing "could" be Fibromyalgia and Neuropathy.
I don't know much about fibromyalgia, but I'm going to work up the courage to go to the doctors and try to find a good one within the coming months because it's becoming too much. If I find a decent one I will ask him about that. Thank you for your suggestion :)
 
I would push for more tests if you can.
If I wasn't such a wimp I think that would have been the best thing to do. Probably when the neurologist was about to run more tests before he changed his mind after hearing how I have suffered with depression in the past would have been the time I should have asked to run the other tests he was going to. I don't know if they'll find anything.. I wish it was a broken arm or something that wasn't so invisible but I suppose all of us on here have that experience with PTSD and CPTSD etc as its all invisible except to the sufferer. Thank you for taking the time to comment :) im going to try and work up the courage to see another doctor and get some more tests.
 
@Finding My Voice I suggest a Rheumatologist to determine if you have Fibromyalgia or not. They are best equipped to tell you. They do a trigger point test, and you must have 11 out of the 18 trigger points to have a definitive diagnosis. It's pretty painless, they just press on certain spots on your body and if you experience pain in 11 areas, plus a complete history of what you've been going through they will be able to confirm or not. I was diagnosed about 17 yrs ago. The one thing I can tell you, if you do have it.... EXERCISE and moving your body is the best way for the pain to be less. Sounds counterproductive but it helps....

Good luck.
 
Have they ruled out Multiple Sclerosis?

Hope you are feeling better. :hug:
That was something that was being thrown around, they said a lot of my symptoms match up with that but I had an MRI done of my brain and there was no lesions that they could see so they couldn't rule it as MS.

Thank you, I am feeling no better physically but writing all this out and having so many take the time to read all of my word vomit and reply kindly (like yourself) has actually helped me feel much less alone and grumpy and... bottled up. Thank you :)
 
Oh im sorr
@Finding My Voice I suggest a Rheumatologist to determine if you have Fibromyalgia o...
Oh im sorry to hear you have fibromyalgia, my only experience with it was when I was in an adolescent mental health ward and a 17 year old girl in there had it, she was in a lot of pain all the time and I had never heard of it before then. I will do some reading up on it and find a rhuemotolgist. Yes, I've been doing reading up on back pain (my biggest complaint most of the time) and have been reguarly incorporating the exercises they recommend into my usual exercise program (I have a gym membership) I've been going to the gym reguarly for a few years now but the last few weeks that's been hit and miss so I've been trying to at least keep the stretching up and strength building exercises for my back. Thank you so much for your suggestion and for taking the time to reply. I hope you are not suffering too much with your condition and are able to find relief from the symptoms.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top