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Negative thoughts, negative talk....

Discussion in 'Core Beliefs / Cognitive Distortions' started by She Cat, Sep 7, 2007.

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  1. She Cat

    She Cat I'm a VIP Premium Member

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    Lately the has been a lot of talk about negative thinking, talking going on...

    This is a tough one for me. I'm not sure if it's a trigger, or it just plain ole upsets me to no point.

    I used to do it too. REAL bad. I would put myself down over anything, and everything. The negative talk in my own head would have driven a sane person nuts....BTW I am sane...LOL!!!! I used to tell people I was nuts, hell I acted it too. My anxiety was so out there..

    Anyway....I had to learn to stop doing it. My therapist taught me to stop. I wasn't allowed to say negative things about myself in his office. Nope not allowed. I told one of my closet friends about that, and she put in a new rule. No negative talking around her either. Man that was tough, we spent a lot of time together. LOL!!!

    It worked, and..........It brings UP your level of self confidence, self worth, and esteem.....It is hard to do granted....But...Negative talking, thoughts, and even your user names can reflect how you feel inward. It only reinforces to your already screwed up thinking that you are not worthy, you're bad, you're a nothing......

    We had bad THINGS happen to us.....We did NOT do the bad things,or so why are we bad???? We aren't. We aren't . We aren't.

    I apologize up front for anyone that I may have, or might offend. It's not my intention. I just really can't bear to hear people put themselves down for something that they don't own.....It hurts me, I just get so upset, and I just want them to stop.

    Just another rant......

    Wendy
     
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  3. Kathy

    Kathy I'm a VIP

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    I agree with you Wendy; negative talk is very destructive and should be avoided at all costs. Everyone should learn methods to curb it. I do understand being uncomfortable with it, as I also feel this way, and feel like shaking people at times. However, you cannot force or rush anyone into becoming well. Everyone heals at their own pace, and part of healing process is dealing with negative thinking. If individuals do not talk about their negative feelings, they can't identify and change them. As difficult as it is, the only person you can change is yourself, and you must let go of everyone else.
     
  4. She Cat

    She Cat I'm a VIP Premium Member

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    Kathy,

    Thanks for the response back. Yes, letting go I guess is the thing to do. So I will. I am just so glad that I know who and what I am. PTSD is such a bugger, but it's so sweet to be able to live without it having a strangle hold on me anymore.

    Wendy
     
  5. Damiea

    Damiea Well-Known Member

    I think some people who are starting the healing process need the encuraging words just to make sure the feelings they are having "that they are NOT bad people" deep down are truthfull ones! Like no matter how much you say it to yourself you still need to hear it from others before you fully believe it.
     
  6. pandora

    pandora I'm a VIP

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    Well...I think i am about half way to 3/4 of the way there but not all the way there. If I am having an off day or more stressed than usualily find it hard to stop the negative thoughts, but I am working HARD on it....at least I think so. It would be nice to not have this constant power struggle in my head. The negative me and the positive me. I find that this often is enough or a lot to handle. It is like a battle going on...and the positives need to win.
     
  7. Damiea

    Damiea Well-Known Member

    LOL I thought of this topic the other day.. when I thought of something and was thinking negative thoughts about myself in my head! I relised what I do and I guess I must do it most of the time when it happens.. I answer myself in some way like "Shhh girl don't think that!" rofl it was just like I was having a pep talk to myself and I never noticed that I did that before! It was very much like the negative me and the positive me like you where talking about Pandora! lol
     
  8. She Cat

    She Cat I'm a VIP Premium Member

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    It's all about taking power back. Allowing negative thoughts gives others power. Having positive thoughts allows us to be in control....

    Wendy
     
  9. pandora

    pandora I'm a VIP

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    Makes so much sense She Cat a lot of sense!
     
  10. resurrection

    resurrection Member

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    Self Deprecation

    :hello: I know exactly what you mean about negative thinking, Im the worlds worst when really depressed. I have the ability to turn even the slightest negative connotation onto myself and take it to its most negative concclusion and it is almost impossible to stop when your in a really bad place. I think its coz of my own anger at putting myself into a position where people could take advantage of me mixed with reliving the trauma (ie the paranoia,self hatred, hopelessness, helplessness and loss of identity and emotion )
    With the help of medication and through time,
    I have become more aware of this and have actively begun (as you do) to stop myself doing it ( amazingly when I begin to feel better, there is still a part of me that thinks im brilliant!).
    I also find that taking more pride in yourself helps.I am trying to get myself fit again, stay away from alcohol and am taking a lot more pride in the way I dress which all , when combined , seems to be helping.:thumbs-up

    I also think people should be aware of differentiating between negative thinking and self deprecation as part of your sense of humour (personally, I love to take the p**s out of myself) sometimes, there is a fine line.
    Ps thanks for welcoming me to the forum. All the best.
     
  11. madjon

    madjon Active Member

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    what we think is what we make ourselves, think negative things and it makes you more negative about yourself, think positive thoughts, they argue with the negative ones for a while,but win out in the end with persistence,
    watch for key words or phrases which are automatic, when you catch yourself thinking this change it, it takes time but is quite doable, simply put, stop thinking negative and think positive, a bit at a time think better things then when youve got better things move on to good things,
     
  12. cactus_jack

    cactus_jack Well-Known Member

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    Shecat, just keep telling yourself "I'm better than that", because you are. Or "I'm not that way" or anything directly opposite of the negative thoughts. After a while it will start becoming a good habit to have.
     
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