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Sufferer New Here-i Am Quitting Therapy And Need Advice

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That was enough to make me feel not alone (as I have no support network I feel comfortable with).

I am sorry hear you are going through this with your therapist.

You mentioned you have been seeing him twice weekly for three years and I am wondering in that time whether he had suggested or tried to assist you in broadening your other supports. In some geographic areas, the availability of other supports is very limited so I understand if that's not physically possible.

shrugged his shoulders and said he had no idea what I was going to do because he had limited availability
However, I can see how painful this was if this came out of the blue with no previous discussion about increasing your other supports. As you mentioned you spoke with him about this and his reaction was to basically tell you you are out of luck.

You actually have now broadened your supports by coming here. That part is really awesome.

Best wishes with whatever you decide to do and congratulations on reaching out to folks here other than just your therapist.
 
Thanks for the warm welcome:)

I am really trying to pull my life together. I think that therapy was not a good thing for me and I need to just take care of myself. I appreciate that I can come here!
 
I actually feel pretty guilty now. I am not going back to therapy because it is really unhealthy for me to depend on other people. But apparently I was so far off in my judgment of the therapist's actions. It was not the fact that he made this change, but how he did it and how cavalier he was when making it knowing my present state that was so hurtful to me. I am going to try to look at this positively and hopefully I can put my life back together again on my own. It was a bad day today. I really don't think I serve a real purpose. I hope now that I am out of therapy things will get better.
 
Aww @marken please don't feel guilty.

Some here are rather blunt with their opinions, but they mean it with good intent.

I still think your therapist handled this in the poorest manner, and your reaction was completely natural, the idiot played on one of your triggers.
Totally unprofessional.

Take heart, and feel free to reach out to me or anyone here you feel comfortable talking to, we all understand xxxx
 
I don't believe your feelings are wrong. I can be extremely difficult to trust someone and I can understand why you'd feel abandoned.

Is it possible that the decision to quit therapy altogether is indeed an overreaction? I know it's hard to find a new therapist, but why give up therapy completely because of your experience with one therapist? And the bad experience was a once in three years kind of deal?---I'd say that's an overall good track record!

Nobody can be depended on 100% to always be there when we need them, even if we pay them. I'm concerned that this therapist wasn't giving you the skills that you need in order to self regulate and find an array of support. Was he teaching you coping skills? Self regulation skills?

I hope that you decide to give therapy another try with a new therapist.
 
Mary: thanks so much for understanding. I really wanted honest opinions and I appreciate them. I also appreciate your validation that it could have been handled better. Yes, he did play on my biggest fear and trigger :(

Eve: there have been a few other incidents with this therapist in the time I have been seeing him. That said, I think he is a good person and has been very patient in a lot of ways with me. But I honestly believe that therapy might hurt some people and I am one of those people. I can't turn my emotions on and off after I leave an appointment and that is where I have trouble. We have spoken about what I can do when this happens. He suggests taking a shower and reaching out to someone for contact. But reaching out to someone for help is my biggest fear and he knows it and I don't really have someone I confide in so that leaves me on my own scrambling and feeling completely hopeless. At that point, coping strategies don't even make a dent in it.

I attended an intensive ED program awhile back and spoke to the therapist there yesterday for suggestions. It did make me feel somewhat better because she said my present state would probably not be helped by coping mechanisms and I just need more help and not to blame myself. She is looking into some possible options for me (groups) that would offer immediate help and support for the depression. I will hear back from her tomorrow.

I think that would be a better option for me than therapy when I have only that person to depend on-
 
Would an intensive program for trauma be an option for you? It sounds like therapy is too destabilizing for you at this time. But the good news is that there are other treatment options out there which may work better.
 
Yes, I totally agree-that is exactly how it feels to me!! Much too destabilizing for me right now. It completely throws me off balance.

Yes, they are looking into a trauma group for me. She thinks a couple of weeks in a more intensive group for depression might help to start with to help get me back on track.
 
That's good. I know all too well how destabilizing an hour of ripping your wounds open can be, only to be pushed out the door until next time.

I think there's an article here on the forum about how this type of healing can be very destabilizing (once/twice a week therapy).

Sometimes total immersion can be best because there is no 45 minute time restraint. You can get round the clock support.
 
Yes, they are talking about a program for me eventually that includes support if I need it 24 hours a day. Although I think it is best for me to leave individual therapy, at least for now, it is actually going to feel a bit like withdrawal at the same time.

I have to say, I made a very good decision coming here because you people have already helped me immensely..thank you so much:)
 
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Just as an aside, I did a search on this site for destabilizing therapy. Wow, can I ever relate to the situations and emotions discussed. That in itself is quite helpful because I thought there was something wrong with me but is very comforting to know that there's experience the same thing. I am actually just human.
 
@marken Welcome to the forum! :)

Yes, one of the best parts of this site is knowing that you are not alone and there are people who really do understand. I hope you find the support here helpful in your healing.
 
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