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New Here - Relationship Abuse Caused My PTSD

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by PtsdSpokane, Feb 8, 2007.

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  1. PtsdSpokane

    PtsdSpokane Member

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    Hello guys. I am 21 years old from Washington state, and have recently been diagnosed with PTSD. I was in a pretty abusive relationship for about 3 years that I have been out of for approx 1 1/2 years. He did some really, really bad things while we were together, but I do admit I wasn't the submissive victim that you see on tv. Anyway I have always had really bad, vivid nightmares on an average of a few times a week since we broke up, but recently I started having bad panick attacks at work and today the nurse diagnosed with with PTSD. We talked for a while about what happened in my relationship and after we were through she took my BP - 156/93!! :eek:

    Anyway, I am having a lot of trouble with it. I kind of feel like a wuss..like people have WAY worse things than just a silly relationship, and I should be able to get over this myself. I dont have any help insurance and the nurse wants to put me on daily medication (Atenolol). In order to pay for it I would have to get money from my dad, and I dont know how to tell them about this. I know they definitely won't understand..we don't talk about my relationship at all, I guess it is kind of 'taboo' and they really don't know the extent of the abuse that went on in the first place. So..how do I explain that it is still wrecking my life a year and a half later?

    HELP!!
     
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  3. becvan

    becvan Queen of the Blunt! Premium Member

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    Welcome Spoke!

    One relationship can do it.. better for you to get help now then continually repeating the process and piling up the trauma..

    Families are difficult to navigate sometimes, check out the numerous threads on dealing with families.. (even read some threads in the spouse section), and the other threads on PTSD..

    There are many of us here that came from violent relationships.. How many or how little bad relationships makes no difference here.. PTSD is PTSD no matter how you got it or from how much trauma..

    Glad to have you,
    bec
     
  4. PtsdSpokane

    PtsdSpokane Member

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    Thanks for the warm welcome :) Any advice on how do you deal with the nightmares? Mine are bad..and very frequent. They are terrifying..
     
  5. elvis

    elvis Active Member

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    that is not true. if it were, you would have already...i have been thinking that for the past 9 years and THAT WAS ALL I HAD BEEN DOING. trying to BE AND DO what everyone else was BEING AND DOING.

    i sort of compare it to this: you know how people train underwater for strength training? they strap on all this weight so they sink to the bottom and then they RUN underwater. well, that is how i feel like my life has been with PTSD (looking back, it's been a long time since i've had this iam sure...) only i wasn't looking where i was at...i was looking at the people out of the water that were running so fast on land without any weights....AND TRYING TO KEEP UP. of course, i have been exhausted for much of my life.

    maybe that makes sense? i am an artist, so i think visually. what can i say. sorry if it confused you. :wall:

    PLEASE don't listen to that shit, whether it's from yourself or other people. the responsibility you have is to learn as much as you can about the PTSD. i am passionate about that because i didn't even realize i was IN DENIAL by my own ignorance towards WHAT PTSD ACTUALLY IS. for me, i was diagnosed 2 years ago and blew it off completely, only to have it blow up in my face. once you learn about this, and with the help of people here, THEN you can focus on telling other people who are important in your life. maybe i should take my own advice.

    to be honest, it would be a lonely journey without this place sometimes, b/c there is so little understanding about it.

    BY THE WAY... HI:tongue:
     
  6. becvan

    becvan Queen of the Blunt! Premium Member

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    *sorry Spoke.. hijacking your thread for a quick sec.. promise it will be quick!*

    Elvis.. that is the absolute BEST description I have ever seen for explaining how we feel trying to act like 'normal' people. (normal being used rather loosely here).. May I borrow that description to use to explain to my family? I think they just might get that!

    bec
     
  7. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Hi spoke, welcome to the forum. My advice... tell your parents now, before it only becomes harder. Let them know now, but also explain that you do not require them to try and fix anything, just know... otherwise things may get a little off track with their opinions and likely little education about PTSD itself.
     
  8. waynes

    waynes Member

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    Spokane,

    Antony is so right!!! If you are going to fight this fight it has to be out in the open. You will find some people don't what to hear what you have to say. Then find some one who will!! If you try to keep these things inside, your PTSD symptoms will not improve.. They may even get worse. You must be able to get it out in the open to deal with it. In time, with help, you will be ok. By telling your folks you may get just the help you need. Tell them that you have PTSD, and why. The sooner you level with them the better. Don't bottle it up!!
    You have to make the decision to get the help you need.

    You are in my prayers...

    Wayne
     
  9. cookie

    cookie I'm a VIP

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    hi, spokane, welcome to the forum
     
  10. wildcritter44

    wildcritter44 Active Member

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    Welcome !!!

    :hello: Hi Spoke,

    Welcome to the forum.... Hope you find what your looking for here.

    Your aren't alone any more!

    Take Care

    D (wildcritter)
     
  11. PtsdSpokane

    PtsdSpokane Member

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    Yikes! :eek: I dont know if I am ready to just tell my parents, but I can get 8 appointments with a counsilor for free through my work, so I am going to start there. Baby steps anyway LOL

    Thanks for the warm welcome..what a blessing to find this group!
     
  12. Terry

    Terry Well-Known Member

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    Welcome Spokane, lots of wisdom here. I would let them know but I'm about putting the cards on the table. That's just me and my 2 cents. As for the dreams, yep we all have some pretty screwed up ones. Look thru some of the PTSD Chat posts.
     
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