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Sufferer New here - trauma and betrayal and struggling with anxiety

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Suzy BA

New Here
Hi all, just over a year ago I was woken by the police to tell me that my husband had been found dead, he was to my knowledge at work but he was actually in a hotel not far away with another woman, it was just before our 20th wedding anniversary. Although I coped well, carried on , worked, paid the bills and looked after my daughter, passed my driving test things are really hard now. I was diagnosed with PTSD and am having EMDR therapy. My main problem is anxiety which is making driving really hard after having worked so hard to pass my test. I have amazing support around me but often feel really lonely due to the uniqueness of my situation. Hoping some of you can get me and I can feel less like a weirdo!
 
Hi Suzy,

Welcome to the forum. I am so very sorry to read your story. Please accept my deepest sympathies. This group is amazing. While my background is very different to yours, you are not alone with your feelings and symptoms. PTSD can make us feel so very lonely and isolated and like we are going crazy. My symptoms can explode and cause my anxiety to sky rocket along with nightmares, flashbacks and so many awful emotions and then they can quieten down for a week, a few weeks, maybe a month and then they flare again. Its a contact roller coaster. I am lucky enough that I have excellent support and can function MOST days with my symptoms. I have a full time, very demanding and stressful job that involves a lot of people engagement and communication which can be very daunting and difficult if I am in the middle of a PTSD episode. At these times I feel so alone and abnormal but this group helps immensely. There is so much support here. I also have an excellent therapist.

How are you finding EMDR? How old is your child? Stay strong. You have experienced so much but you are still here and doing what you need to do to help yourself and your family.
 
Hi Suzy,

Welcome to the forum. I am so very sorry to read your story. Please accept my deepest sympath...
Thank you so much, yes I have a very demanding job but luckily it's 30 hours a week and I can work from home lots which helps. EMDR is in the early stages but I feel like it's beginning to help. It's hard to build up to it once a week and I feel wrecked the next day. My daughter is 18 and not an easy person - but we bumble along. xxx
 
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