Inkedscorpio29
New Here
Hello , I'm new here and figured I'd introduce myself. This is my 1st group/forum I've ever joined since being dx with C-PTSD in 2010. I've suffered with it for many years prior, but didn't know I had C-PTSD.
I'm 35 yrs old. I was 18 when I was raped (its how i lost my virginity) , and a few years after that I got into an abusive marriage where I was physically , emotionally, and mentally abused for years until I finally got out of the marriage.
I have a hard time meeting people , and not think that they have an alterior motive. I always think the worst case scenario from strangers when I see them, or get introduced to them.
I'm a silent sufferer when I experience my panick attacks I don't like people to know I'm in the midst of having one because I feel ashamed to be having a panick attack. (I have at least 2 a day or more it just depends on the day)
I'm an internal person that doesn't display anything on the outside during an attack because I don't want people to know, or think of me differently so I freak out on the inside & try my best to talk myself down out of it myself. I don't like talking while having an attack because in my mind I'm wasting the little bit of oxygen I have left on talking. My symptoms during my panick attacks are thinking I'm about to die any minute, feeling like I'm literally having a heart attack, tremors, sweating, throat gets tight, hard to catch my breath, and more that I just can't think of right now. I focus on a focal point, and I'm 24/7 listening to music with my ear buds in, it really does help me tremendously. I'm petrified of the idea of death, I get really worked up even just hearing about a person passing away it gets my mind racing. I don't act out physically, or display any types of anger to anyone. I've recently had more attacks for the last 6 months, my insomnia has gotten horrible I only average 3-4 hrs a night of sleep. I'm tired, but I just can't go to sleep.
I feel like anyone that suffers from any type of mental health is so judged by society, and they just don't ever truly understand unless they suffer from it themselves. I have a small circle of longtime friends that I adore, but none of them completely understand although they truly try, and respect me. I'm only comfortable talking to others who have ptsd like myself because they "get it" because they unfortunately know where I'm coming from.
I do therapy 1x a week , and take 2 meds (1 as needed only if I feel triggered and the other as a daily med to try to prevent) I work in the Healthcare field. Only a handful of people know I have ptsd I don't like anyone to know because I feel shamed the second they find out, or judged.
OK well enough of my rambling on thanks for allowing me to join & introduce myself.
I'm 35 yrs old. I was 18 when I was raped (its how i lost my virginity) , and a few years after that I got into an abusive marriage where I was physically , emotionally, and mentally abused for years until I finally got out of the marriage.
I have a hard time meeting people , and not think that they have an alterior motive. I always think the worst case scenario from strangers when I see them, or get introduced to them.
I'm a silent sufferer when I experience my panick attacks I don't like people to know I'm in the midst of having one because I feel ashamed to be having a panick attack. (I have at least 2 a day or more it just depends on the day)
I'm an internal person that doesn't display anything on the outside during an attack because I don't want people to know, or think of me differently so I freak out on the inside & try my best to talk myself down out of it myself. I don't like talking while having an attack because in my mind I'm wasting the little bit of oxygen I have left on talking. My symptoms during my panick attacks are thinking I'm about to die any minute, feeling like I'm literally having a heart attack, tremors, sweating, throat gets tight, hard to catch my breath, and more that I just can't think of right now. I focus on a focal point, and I'm 24/7 listening to music with my ear buds in, it really does help me tremendously. I'm petrified of the idea of death, I get really worked up even just hearing about a person passing away it gets my mind racing. I don't act out physically, or display any types of anger to anyone. I've recently had more attacks for the last 6 months, my insomnia has gotten horrible I only average 3-4 hrs a night of sleep. I'm tired, but I just can't go to sleep.
I feel like anyone that suffers from any type of mental health is so judged by society, and they just don't ever truly understand unless they suffer from it themselves. I have a small circle of longtime friends that I adore, but none of them completely understand although they truly try, and respect me. I'm only comfortable talking to others who have ptsd like myself because they "get it" because they unfortunately know where I'm coming from.
I do therapy 1x a week , and take 2 meds (1 as needed only if I feel triggered and the other as a daily med to try to prevent) I work in the Healthcare field. Only a handful of people know I have ptsd I don't like anyone to know because I feel shamed the second they find out, or judged.
OK well enough of my rambling on thanks for allowing me to join & introduce myself.