For the first time ever I am finding I can sometimes talk a little about myself without finding I have serious thoughts of harming myself or suffering severe frightening backlash about "speaking". Of course discussing difficult things brings up difficult feelings and backlash of that type. But this trap I have been in that has isolated me for a lifetime seems to be shifting just a little. Its really strange. I can't quite believe it. I keep waiting for the sky to fall in but am trying to just "enjoy" it if that is the word.