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New Seeking Help - Boyfriend an Iraq Veteran

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Hi, I am also an Iraq Veteran with PTSD. I am 100 percent from VA and medically retired from the army. Now I dontate my time to the American Legion helping veterans do their VA claims as a Service Officer and have been very successfull on getting PTSD claims approved. First off thank him for his service and let him know he is not alone. Be patient with him, I know we get irratable, but he needs a support system and needs to talk to fellow Iraq and Afghan vets. Also I encourage him to get his claim in, so that he can get treatment. The VA facility that I go to has a very good program for just Iraq and Afghan vets. If you need any help to get that done let me know. You can start by going to va.gov and filling out a form 21-526 and a 21-22. Simply fill it out online and find a American Legion or a VFW to assist in sending up the paperwork. If the VA denies your claim get a hold of your local Congressman or Senator and let their VA liason do a congressional inquiry on your claim. That usally gets thing done quick. I am in KY, if you live close by I can give you a few names to contact. Just remember we are here to take care of each other. As you can tell by all the posts, alot of us have the same issues, the most important part is taking care of each other like we did over seas. Hope this helps, God bless and God bless our Troops.
 
My bf of 3 years is also a Iraq vet, did two tours in Iraq. He has a claim in through the VA, of which i find their therapy to be no help at all. They just see him maybe once per month, and just give him pills like they are candy. We have are also going to couple therapy this month because PTSD is putting a major toll on our relationship to the point im ready to give up and leave, however we just found out im pregnant. I too am in a spot where i dont know what to do and ready to give up because of the stress its putting on me and my family. He too is also a big drinker and smokes a lot of pot, but the drinking is bad, black out drunk, and just mean. His attitude also is horrible like the world should bow down to him, but i think its again from the PTSD. Hopefully the counseling i recently signed us up for will help and things will get better for at least the baby to come. Good Luck!
 
Hi Redd, welcome to the forum.

I see a lot of "we" in your post, and I think that's good as well as thinking it's very mature of you to realize now that this will be a "problem" that you will share since you are so close, and PTSD has a way of affecting a good amount of people besides sufferers.

It sounds like he needs to seek some professional help, as said over and over above. It sounds like there are a lot of great VA resources, but there are also specialists out there that can help (I'm not sure insurance/payment details/your financial situation, of course).

It sounds like your SO has given up on a lot of really effective healing methods, such as exercise, martial arts, and reading. All of these are good ways to help manage stress and cope with symptoms/find balance. I would really encourage him to participate in at least one of these activities regularly. The hygiene thing... old news to me. I try to make myself shower even when I'm in a depressive hole, because letting myself go makes everything even worse, and I feel better when I practice this basic form of self-care, even if I don't want to/am not compelled naturally (as I would usually be).

A lot of the trauma specialists I've researched use some kind of mindfulness model that borrows from Zen/meditation/breathing exercises... things that are inherent in your SO's interests (meditation, martial arts). I know that DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy) and Hakomi both use a lot of Zen/mindfulness, but other forms seem to have these elements as well.

All I can say is try to keep communication open and honest and encourage him to seek the help he needs, research some therapy methods/options, and if he doesn't want to take any medication, I'd suggest you urge him to find another means of treatment. If he is totally opposed to any kind of treatment at all, I wouldn't give up, but maybe he could do something low-key and non-doctor-related, such as taking some Tai Chi or, as I've said, getting back into meditation. There is also a forum section on here for medications, homeopathy, and other healing methods that you can check out to see what's working for others.

Good luck!
 
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