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New To Group - Husband An Iraq Vet

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by littlesunflower4, Dec 12, 2006.

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  1. littlesunflower4

    littlesunflower4 New Member

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    hi I am new to the group but not to PTSD, my husband has been back from iraq for 1 year, it has been very tough, on us both, the nearest help is 2 hours away, he is now getting treament weekly, and spent 2 weeks in-hospital. I just need someplace to talk about it as the va has no help for the spouses:redface:
     
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  3. Celt

    Celt Member

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    Hi and welcome to the group,
    I'm new as well and also have a partner who's a vet,although he left the army about 16 years ago,but only started to seek/get help about 4 years ago.
    See you in the forums
    Celt
     
  4. cookie

    cookie I'm a VIP

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    hi celt and sunflower, welcome to the forum.
    cathy
     
  5. GR-ass

    GR-ass Well-Known Member

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    hey guys, welcome.

    cass
     
  6. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Hi sunflower, welcome to the forum. Yep, amazing how everyone forgets about the other party in PTSD... the spouses. Glad you found us, and there are plenty of spouses here to help you out.
     
  7. wildcritter44

    wildcritter44 Active Member

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    Sunflower,

    Welcome to the forum. I am a spouse of a ptsd vet.. We are seeking help for him. Our nearest base is 90 miles away and drive time is about two hrs. I don't get any help, he hasn't been receiving very good help before. We just recently switched to this base, so I will know more on Fri as to whether or not they are willing to help my husband.. Yes life is difficult at best sometimes. Just keep talking here and get the feed back..
    Here's some hugs sent your way.. my thoughts and prayers goes out to all that have difficult times...
     
  8. littlesunflower4

    littlesunflower4 New Member

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    Thanks for the welcome

    Thanks to all who have welcomed me here, I have read alot of the post here and I am relived to know that I am not the only one who is having a hard time dealing with the changes in my husband sence he has been back from Iraq.
    One of the hardest things is his lack of eye contact, we use to look into each others eyes alot, he had the brightes blue eyes that would sprakle when he would smile and joke around with me, he now seems so cold and distant, I asked him why he wouldn't look me in the eyes, he said he didn't even realise that he wasn't looking me in the eyes, and it is something we are working at.
    I know that he still loves me the same as before he went over there, it is getting better and I know that he's trying sooo very hard to return to who he was. :smile:
     
  9. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    He will never be the person he was, ever. You do not see or live in those conditions and come back exactly the same. Not everything is bad, but it is experience, which means he has a different perspective on life, he has trauma onboard now... things will never be the same, but he can certainly do a damn good job at working towards a knew new... working on being a better self.
     
  10. littlesunflower4

    littlesunflower4 New Member

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    hard to admit

    I know he will never be the same after being over there, it's a hard thing to admit. we have been together for 20 years and have gone through some tough stuff, I guess I thought he would snap back from this also. he is getting better and looking into a 6 week program for ptsd and has decided to take his meds. hopefully he will get some sleep :sleeping:
     
  11. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    That is good news sunflower. For the most part, accepting the problem is the biggest step. Once we really truly accept we have a problem, we can then fix it. Fixing PTSD is certainly no easy task, and if you ask anyone who is healed / has healed, they will tell you it is harder than living the trauma in the first place. And trust me, it is. That is the biggest problem with getting people to face their past fears, in that there is so much anxiety, pain and hurt within us, that getting past that initial step to just let it go, get it out, and listen to others, try and find reasoning to what we feel and heal our emotional self, huge steps... all of which often can only be done in baby steps, ie. little by little, the little pieces addup to big chunks, as we progress into taking bigger steps, we get through more trauma.

    Most of the initial problems with healing, is that people try and take too bigger steps, then fall so bad, so fast, so far, it scares them, or they see no progress, so they giveup before they have given it a chance. Initial healing when one starts to really poke their trauma takes a good six months to see some results.... easily six months. After that period of very hard work, more downs than ups, we start to see sunshine again, we see progress, in that our downs are shorter, our up times are longer. Some think they can giveup at that point, soon enough find themselves back down again, going backwards... basically because they stopped before they hit the halfway mark.

    You see, healing our trauma is a big component, but we must heal all our past trauma, anything that has been slightly traumatic in our life must be looked at. Our present trauma, anxieties, future also... ie. coming events, appointments and realisations. PTSD itself must be learnt to be managed, which is completely different from healing trauma itself. For one to stick their hand up and say enough is enough, time to beat this crap, three years start to finish is standard, though individuals themselves can increase or decrease that time period based on their own life factors, situations, and extent of trauma itself.
     
  12. Josh77

    Josh77 Active Member

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    Welcome, sunflower!!!!
     
  13. Remnarc

    Remnarc Member

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    There is help for yourself. This is a free service and it is provided by the military.

    http://www.militaryonesource.com

    Go there find the numbers and call them to talk. Another set of eyes never hurts trying to see something in the dark.
     
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