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Sufferer New with questions about emdr

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Bonbon

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This is my first visit. I have been dealing with ptsd for 26 months now. It has been a difficult journey. I am now going through emdr therapy. I have read a lot of mixed reviews and was wondering if anyone has done emdr and what where the outcomes. I am still on medication and I am hoping that won't always be necessary .my flashbacks have diminished after starting seroquel. At times of stress I still need a benzo to control my anxiety.

I have managed to continue working but have still needed intermittent leave to cover myself on days that I don't function well. I am a nurse at a hospital, as a result of the stress I have transferred to the rehab unit from acute care. Too many triggers with acute care. I have more good days lately but I still struggle. I have hope that emdr might help but I have been in therapy and on medication since the beginning of this nightmare. Any insight from anyone?
 
Welcome.... hang in there, others will come on later and help you with your questions.... I have not done EMDR.... but have heard more success stories than negative.... just glad you found us....
Many of my friends in real life are nurses..... so thank you for what you do, that goes unnoticed and unrecognized, you are deeply appreciated...

Hope you find this healing community a part of your healing journey... happy you are here....
 
I never realized how a trauma could change every aspect of my life! I witnessed my boyfriend of 12 years put a gun in his mouth and pull the trigger. In the first year I lost 26 pounds and did not even want to step outside of my house let alone work. My second shift back to work at the 2 month mark, I had a patient die and had a complete fall apart. I think at that point regression set in.
I final saw a mental health NP who suggested a genetic swab for pshyc meds. Since I had tried 5 different ssri's I was then started on an antiphsycotic , SEROQUEL, which did help with flashbacks .I felt good for the first month and then starting on a downhill again. thoughts of suicide became frequent. Functioning at my job was very difficult, poor concentration and the fear of losing a patient, plus stress triggers. ( gunshots on television while in patient rooms ).
My isolation was severe, I have only ventured out to stores on my own in a few years. The farthest driving I have done is to my NP 1 hour away.
My family relationships have suffered because I feel like most of them don't get it! I have an daughter in her forties that has taken advantage of my vulnerability. I am bad about letting my stressors stack before I take my Xanax. I never had to take meds before this happened. Showers are a trigger because he shot himself in the bathroom well you can imagine the aftermath of that. I used to medicate myself before I took a 2-3 minute shower.
My second year was pretty hard, I saw a therapist for 2 years and felt comfortable but I felt like I was not making much progress. His opinion was I did not need to revisit the trauma and it was my new NP who wanted me to see an EMDR therapist. I am seeing a highly trained emdr therapist. After 2 months we are going to start the reprocessing. I am praying this helps because if I were to regress, I am not sure I would be able to handle it. I still continue to struggle . Any feedback on emdr would be appreciated
 
I am a nurse too- APRN. I understand how hard it is to care for others when in the grips of trauma. I also have used EMDR with great success. I tried it with two therapists and had the best luck with the second one who I have seen for 3+ years and who I continue to see for what i call "tune-ups" 3-4 x year. If you are comfortable with the therapist and like them then I think it works well. I love my therapist and am grateful for her everyday.
The first therapist who did it with me brought me more anxiety than recovery. Maybe I just wasn't ready. I was missing a lot of appt.'s then. The only thing different between the two was I felt the second one had me use a safe place at the end and the first one had me reality check. Oh and the second one had me use a headset as well. Both used the hand held things that vibrated. Once you get used to it it is actually fun to use for problem solving. You get good at it after awhile.
I can tell you that it does get better if you find a therapist you trust and can do the work. It was really hard for me to go through but I was motivated and committed. I have had C-PTSD since a small child and didn't know until my mid 30's. So if I can heal after years of unrecognized trauma... I actually learned that my brain has changed because of the treatments. Its called neuroplasticity.
The other recommendations I have that helped me with the anxiety (which made me isolate for days on end) is gratitude. I do it everyday and it there is serious evidence that shows it helps with anxiety. I'm sure you will learn a boat load of tools in therapy. If you feel worse after EMDR (anxious) tell the therapist and if you feel like you just aren't making progress find another one.
I hope that helps.
 
I am very dedicated to the therapy process, I have missed 2 appointments in 2 years. I am now with an emdr trained therapist. I feel comfortable with her. We use audio and tactile stimulation with our reprocessing sessions. What improvements have you seen in the quality of life since emdr? Do most people live functionally without Meds?
 
I am currently undergoing EMDR. It has helped me to better handle conflict and difficult situations, I have gained a tremendous amount of perspective and understanding in many areas, I am also more comfortable with myself and becoming much more aware of when I can and when I can't push myself therefore more balanced in taking care of myself. The list goes on, but it's important to remember the road isn't smooth and you may often feel worse before you feel better.
 
What improvements have you seen in the quality of life since emdr? Do most people live functionally without Meds?

Sound like you are motivated. It took me several months to make gains and to have a feeling like things were making sense. I am not on any medications and I just finished my APRN training if thats any indication of functionality. I have a great new job lined up as an NP hospitalist. Before therapy and EMDR I was isolating, not going to work and gaining weight. I pushed everyone around me away and I really needed help. I was going to the hospital a lot for random somatic complaints as well. It was horrible. I can honestly say that I have changed my life. I still have days when I am more anxious than others but now I can work through it easier. I have a great friend group now which was one of my goals when I started therapy. I was terribly lonely but couldn't even help myself. I was afraid of everything.

I know its hard. I think you are smart to only use Xanax when things are really tough. I think its important to try other methods first before resorting to benzo's. They are habit forming and hard to stop. Try to use them if you really need them but be cautious with their use. Benz's are really only supposed to be used for short-term. Hopefully you will not need them at some point.

I truly wish you the very best.
 
Thank you for your response
During my first 2 years I lost 26 lbs and had pneumonia twice and diarrhea with vomiting the first few months. No concentration and extreme anxiety, not functioning for sure. Seroquel has been my saviour, I am concerned how I will be able to function when I wean off of it. My NP says some people need medication the rest of their lives. I do intend to attempt life without it. I would appreciate comments on life long medication from anyone. This plagues my mind.
 
Welcome Bonbon, and my sincere empathies for the loss of your loved one in that manner.

I attempted emdr and found it simply didn't work for me at all. Mind you I hid my condition for years in the cause setting, so the condition was deeply set.

I've heard many others who had success with it though. My opinion is to give it a good go, but not be afraid to tell your therapist if it isn't doing much. Plenty of other tools out there.
 
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