Hi folks, Bad bad bad childhood like most here no doubt. Became a state ward at 13, been dealing with mental illnesses ever since, though not as intensely as the past 3 years. Have been in counselling with Psychologist using EMDR ... have now been tentatively diagnosed with a dissociative disorder, likely to be DID. I don't have pronounced 'alters' like on the tv show United States of Tara ... but I do seem to have no control over how I handle a situation, sometimes just an every day situation, like dropping my toast can leave me with black eyes from punching myself repeatedly in the face. I always forget things halfway through, and I rarely remember what I said or what was said to me in an argument. The things I used to believe about myself just don't stand up to scrutiny. I believed I was empathic and compassionate and kind, but my behaviour toward my long suffering husband just denies that entirely. I used to believe that I never took offense, even when it was intended, but these days I see everything as a personal slight, even things that obviously have nothing to do with me. Areas of my life that I thought I had some weird aversion to, have now been outed as fully blown phobias. Etc Etc Etc....
My husband has reached the very end of his tether. I believe that living with me has led him to develop some mental illness as well, although to be honest, I can't really trust WHAT I think about anything, I recognise all too well that I often 'choose' to believe whatever I need to to feel better about myself and this may be a part of that. However, where he used to be compassionate and supportive of my illness, now he is just angry and frustrated that I always attack him, don't make sense in arguments, forget what I said and then insist that I didn't say it etc etc etc ... he is somewhat socially phobic himself, so I have had no luck in getting him to connect with support networks.
Any suggestions from anyone?
My husband has reached the very end of his tether. I believe that living with me has led him to develop some mental illness as well, although to be honest, I can't really trust WHAT I think about anything, I recognise all too well that I often 'choose' to believe whatever I need to to feel better about myself and this may be a part of that. However, where he used to be compassionate and supportive of my illness, now he is just angry and frustrated that I always attack him, don't make sense in arguments, forget what I said and then insist that I didn't say it etc etc etc ... he is somewhat socially phobic himself, so I have had no luck in getting him to connect with support networks.
Any suggestions from anyone?