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Nightmares/flashbacks confusion

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I am kinda struggling right now. Recently I think I've gone back to actual flashbacks from when I was little. I don't know what I did wrong to make it come back, I'm on winter break so I thought I would be free from this stuff...
In therapy, my therapist and I have been working on sorting out how my childhood went as a starter to working through it, partly in hope to lessen the nightmares I have since I wake up in panic but usually can't remember the nightmare. She's mentioned at some point that it could be a younger part of me that has the nightmare and I'm not dealing with stress during the day so that could be why?
I don't know what to do to cope. Last time was when I went to the kitchen for food and I couldn't find any I could eat, when I found something I could cook, my anxiety was too high and I had to go back to my room in my blankets and anything I did made it worse. I think the anxiety came from the neglect when I was little. I don't know what I messed up, my nightmares were worse both before and after that so I've done something else to cause those... sorry I'm repeating myself a lot I'm really confused and mindfulness and grounding I've done won't fix it so I have to be messing something up, I've tried the breathing stuff and 54321 and touch-related things, drawing/writing makes anger come out
i feel stuck & misplaced....
 
I am kinda struggling right now. Recently I think I've gone back to actual flashbacks from when I was little. I don't kno...

I don’t think you have messed up at all. This is what PTSD does to us. We make baby steps, see a little progression and then suddenly we are back o where we started and sometimes worse. As the saying goes it’s 1 step forward 3 steps back. Be patient with yourself and don’t be hard on yourself. You are not to blame and have not messed up, you are in therapy right? So you are doing the right thing and trying to help yourself. When things are bad try and not be tough on yourself, just accept where you are at in the moment and do what helps you feel ok, stay in bed, watch a movie, whatever that is. I know everything I am saying is easily Said and I wish I could take my own advise too, i in many days have been where you are. I feel the progress one day and the spend a week feeling I am failing and my anxiety sky rockets. It all sucks but none of it is our fault.

Stay strong and take care of yourself. Sending you love x
 
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I am kinda struggling right now. Recently I think I've gone back to actual flashbacks from when I was little. I don't kno...

I've been going through something similar recently. Wake up, wave of panic, fall asleep, rinse and repeat until morning. Ugh. Horrible. Mostly I don't remember a thing but did have some extremely vivid moments where I watched a 3 year old me crying in a room and toddling down a hallway crying in an old house with no comfort from anyone. Another where I (as a young child) am being threatened "not to tell" or I'll go down the plug hole like the water. I have no memory of this ever happening but I was terrified of being sucked down the plug hole as a kid. Weird.

Things I am trying: forcing myself to get out of bed, have a cold drink and crunch on ice when I do wake up in a panic; reduce stress during the day (hmmm...ok then lol); take melatonin before bed; some mindful noticing before bed - even a few minutes - although this sometimes make things worse.

Best wishes to you xxx
 
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