• 💖 [Donate To Keep MyPTSD Online] 💖 Every contribution, no matter how small, fuels our mission and helps us continue to provide peer-to-peer services. Your generosity keeps us independent and available freely to the world. MyPTSD closes if we can't reach our annual goal.

Undiagnosed Nights fall so hard

Status
Not open for further replies.

Dan1978

New Here
At night time I get the shakes real bad.
I pace around the house crying and calling out to God to help me. My emotional pain is level 10 and I can't see a way out.
Recently I spoke with family and friends to basically say goodbye. I feel like I'm dying.
They begged me to fight this. I will but the pain is unbearable.

This started last year when my son attempted suicide three times. Slowly I began to lose weight to the point where now I've lost way too much. Seen many doctors and specialists but get little relief.
My health is very poor. I have a lucritive job but I can't see myself ever working again. The last three days have pushed me to the very edge. There is a much greater story but I thank you for reading this far- Dan
 
Welcome, and sorry things are so hard for you right now.... Hopefully you will seek out a Therapist to help you process what is going on.... get a diagnosis so you have a place to start and have a plan to move forward...
Glad you found us.... you will be encouraged to get help, be encouraged by us , be validated, and hopefully things will start to make more sense. This is a hard journey, and I am grateful I do not have to do it alone.. glad you are here...
 
Good to hear Dan !!! This is a hard enough journey with so much pain, and without help, we needlessly suffer.... So will be sending energy your way to do what you need to do to take care of yourself.... you are worth it.... you can do this !!!
 
I am feeling so much for you Dan!

I had some similar stuff this year, that contributed to my latest breakdown. Two of my sons got very suicidal, I'm so lucky their siblings were looking out for them or I could have lost a son. Their Dad is narcissistic and they were estranged from me via his manipulative ploys. Luckily, we have been able to develop some reconnection through those traumas and my boys ended up leaving home (their Dad's house).

This is the time you need to be very very kind to yourself and take each step asking yourself what do you truly need right now.

Give yourself permission to do whatever it is.

You may need to cry, do it, please don't judge yourself harshly.

No doubt you are a kind and good person, an empathetic person, so please direct that kindness inwards and I hope you can surround yourself with lots of support and validating people.

I was studying and had to take a leave of absence, I'm still not back. Health has to be priority number 1.
 
Thank you for this :)

Yes I was talking to my brother and even though I have a good job he said my health is priority number one, just like you said.

I've cried so much, pacing around in the middle of the night shaking.

Glad to hear you and your sons are getting along. Good family connections lighten the load for everyone involved.
 
Glad you found us. This is a safe place to share your feelings. Sending peace and strength to you and your family.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top