bitterfight_
Confident
Well, it's official. I have ran out of money (both insurance and cash) to see my T. In the beginning, she had said that if I needed to, she would do a few pro bono sessions with me. In between then and now, she has started to work less hours, so she can't do pro bono anymore.
I got a referral to the mental health team where I live, and I told her about it, but she said (word for word) "they won't do anything for you, they have too many schizophrenics in the system, they might check your meds every once in awhile, but other than that..." and it got me really upset. I'm failing in school, so all of my money is going towards trying to stay afloat in school. On top of that, now I have nobody to talk to. I could talk to a free counsellor at my school, but they only have 2 free sessions per semester, so the max I could get is 2 because I haven't used any. They don't have anyone trained in trauma (big surprise there), so I would have to just rant and rant to someone who will go "that's too bad" or "I'm so sorry to hear what happened to you" (which only makes me angry because saying sorry won't fix anything). Anyways, the mental health team will tae 3-4 months to find me a free psychologist, if they think I need one. I also got a referral to a psychiatrist, who can hopefully help me sort out the meds situation.
In addition to all of this, my anger is still extremely explosive. I'm still anxious enough that I can't go to certain classes (one of which I'm failing), and I still have to get off the bus if I'm having a panic attack to throw up. I still get the really depressive episodes, and basically there's still a lot of fixing that needs to be done, which won't happen.
I'm just so tired of this. I finally find an amazing T, and now that I've run out of money, she can't do pro bono with me, and I can't find anyone else to talk to. I feel like I'm going to implode. I don't know if there was a question in here somewhere, but I just needed to get that all out.
I got a referral to the mental health team where I live, and I told her about it, but she said (word for word) "they won't do anything for you, they have too many schizophrenics in the system, they might check your meds every once in awhile, but other than that..." and it got me really upset. I'm failing in school, so all of my money is going towards trying to stay afloat in school. On top of that, now I have nobody to talk to. I could talk to a free counsellor at my school, but they only have 2 free sessions per semester, so the max I could get is 2 because I haven't used any. They don't have anyone trained in trauma (big surprise there), so I would have to just rant and rant to someone who will go "that's too bad" or "I'm so sorry to hear what happened to you" (which only makes me angry because saying sorry won't fix anything). Anyways, the mental health team will tae 3-4 months to find me a free psychologist, if they think I need one. I also got a referral to a psychiatrist, who can hopefully help me sort out the meds situation.
In addition to all of this, my anger is still extremely explosive. I'm still anxious enough that I can't go to certain classes (one of which I'm failing), and I still have to get off the bus if I'm having a panic attack to throw up. I still get the really depressive episodes, and basically there's still a lot of fixing that needs to be done, which won't happen.
I'm just so tired of this. I finally find an amazing T, and now that I've run out of money, she can't do pro bono with me, and I can't find anyone else to talk to. I feel like I'm going to implode. I don't know if there was a question in here somewhere, but I just needed to get that all out.