• 💖 [Donate To Keep MyPTSD Online] 💖 Every contribution, no matter how small, fuels our mission and helps us continue to provide peer-to-peer services. Your generosity keeps us independent and available freely to the world. MyPTSD closes if we can't reach our annual goal.

Childhood No One Believed Me

Status
Not open for further replies.

Springbok

New Here
As a child, I knew my parents were doing terrible things to each other most days. No one believed me. That f*cks with your head.

We'll one person did and I wish I could thank them now.

I was even blamed for their problems as a child. This f*cks you up as well. I wish I could heal. I feel like so much has been taken from me.

Sometimes my dad wants me to go places with him. He sounds really nice and lonely. I say no.
 
I am so sorry for the terrible pain you feel. I am like you.. Sometimes I am horrified by them. It is impossible to wrap my head around the whys. Why did they do it? Why didn't they care for us? Why weren't we important enough to keep us even when they fought each other? What could we have done? We were so lonely, so scared, so little. I tried to defend us; but it only made them hate me more. I have seen the pictures of us when we were little. We were beautiful and sweet. I could never do that to my children. He died on my birthday after disowning me again. She is impossible to love; but I am compelled to continue a relationship with her because she is Mother and it happened so long ago. My family does not believe me. So when you say this about your dad, I feel it deep, just like the way I feel. If I knew I would never have to see her again, I would be so relieved. Don't go with him unless you can risk your heart again. Protect yourself.
 
I wish I could heal.
Wishing wont make it happen I am afraid. Are you seeing a therapist to help you deal with this? It sounds like you went through so much, and if your father is still trying to control you that is very difficult. I am glad that you are able to say no, now that you are no longer a child. I know how hard that is - and remained the obedient chilkd well into my so-called adult life.
feel like so much has been taken from me.
I get that. I really do. But you can start with a new beginning from now if that is what you want. You can process those memories and leave them behind.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top