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Non-Combat - I Hope This Forum Isn't Just For Military

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by Nemesis, Apr 9, 2007.

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  1. Nemesis

    Nemesis New Member

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    I have never served in the military. I was recently diagnosed with PTSD for the second time by a second psychiatrist. I guess I didn't like it the first time I heard it.

    Having never experienced battle, I need to know if I'm in the wrong place. I have enormous respect for those who served. My reverence is beyond words. If this forum is explicitly or implicitly for those who experience PTSD as a consequence of having been in the military, please tell me now and please be direct and honest.

    Like everyone here, I have lots swirling about in my head and it would do me good (I think) to share some of it, but not in the wrong place. If this forum is inappropriate for me, I'd appreciate a heads-up.

    Take Care,

    -Mark
     
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  3. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Hi Mark,

    Welcome to the forum. I changed your username, as I do not approve of an email address being used as a member name, so I removed everything after the "@" symbol.

    No, this forum is not for any specific type of trauma, it is for ANYONE who has PTSD. That is the aim and intent of this forum, being not to categorise any person into war, rape, MVA, etc etc... but instead, more appropriate to what we all have in common, PTSD.
     
  4. GR-ass

    GR-ass Well-Known Member

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    Welcome hon, make yourself at home.

    Everyone here has suffered various trauma's from child abuse, MVA's, military service, *erm*

    LOL we're a mixed bag of trcks,

    anyways, welcome
    cass
     
  5. Nemesis

    Nemesis New Member

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    Thanks for the welcome mat. It's a tough subject to broach. "Hi, I'm Mark! I have PTSD and I live in Northwest. What's your name?"

    I have so much to say. So, so much. Fortunately, I have time since suicide has never enchanted me as a lifestyle option. I'm overly curious to see what happens tomorrow, which is good. My psychiatrist perceives that to be one of my greatest attributes in dealing with this mess. Great. Others are thin, beautiful, rich, successful. My most charming asset is that I won't shoot myself.

    Which means I have to fix myself, because this thing, this holistic entity, these existential skid marks in my undies - it's all becoming one big drag. I want to be happy. I used to be happy and I sincerely remember the feeling, this visceral joy. It is a part of my history so it is a part of me. I'd love to recapture it.

    I suppose I'll just hang out for now. Promise me that you won't say, "one day at a time".

    Take Care,
    -Mark
    PS: you can say whatever you want to me. I'm thick skinned. Sort of.
     
  6. becvan

    becvan Queen of the Blunt! Premium Member

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    Welcome Nem!

    There, I got your name fixed. I promise I won't say that, but I do say put one foot in front of the other! :biggrin:

    bec
     
  7. Nemesis

    Nemesis New Member

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    bec,

    Thanks for fixing my user-name and thanks for the pearl of wisdom. To extend the metaphor, I look about and see people smiling in the sunshine, effortlessly dancing the Tango as beautiful music plays. And then there's me, off in a quiet, shady grove trying to put one foot in front of the other, hoping no one sees me when I stumble over a twig.

    Never the less, I will swallow my fears (tomorrow) and start with my right foot. Or my left.

    Take Care,
    -Nemesis
     
  8. becvan

    becvan Queen of the Blunt! Premium Member

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    Ahh, a man after my own heart.. :biggrin: You make me laugh.

    bec
     
  9. hodge

    hodge I'm a VIP Premium Member

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    Hi Nemesis, and welcome,

    I relate to what you say. I used to be happy too, until everything hit. Well, here's to all of us working together toward healing.

    Hodge
     
  10. Marlene

    Marlene I'm a VIP Premium Member

    Welcome to the forum Nemesis.

    Loved the dance metaphor...I can truly relate to it.

    BTW-you asked for a promise of no 'one day at a time'. I've found with PTSD sometimes it's an hour, a minute or a breath at a time some days. Sometimes it's the other. Working towards it just being life and enjoying it.

    Again...welcome.
     
  11. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    Ah ha... thanks Mark, now I'm with you on the username issue. Cheers mate.
     
  12. willing

    willing Active Member

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    Welcome Mark, this is the best thing since sliced bread. Hope the mold in Portland doesn't get you down. Later
    Patty
     
  13. RNning

    RNning New Member

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    Welcome Nemesis

    Well, if you are off in a shady grove trying to dance, then you are actually doing pretty good. I am new here myself and I have found the feedback very helpful. I am not a vet, but have survived other more personal wars and of course a few battles at work (nurse) that really make you look at life a little differently. I was diagnosed in Oct - thought I was losing my mind - here on minute and then back 35 years the next. It is bit frightening to say the least - everyone tells me that things will improve with time! I have never been a patient person - so naturally I want to know how much time!

    The reality is that we can never undo our experience, we simply (or rather not so simply) have to learn new ways to live this them. I was a workaholic and when I wasn't doing that, I threw myself into every sporting event possible just to keep my mind and body busy.

    What triggered me - my brother. He was diagnosed with cancer, came to stay with me while he was being treated. He assaulted me when I was just a kid - needless to say, that opened the flood gates and now, I can't seem to get them closed. There are a whole lot of other things on top of that, but then again, I am sure that is the case with you. Feel free to share here - not to many outside of this really understand.
     
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