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Not Falling Asleep And So Tired

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I have been completely exhausted and yet I cannot fall asleep. I thought it was because of the mini-vacation my family and extended family just took. I thought it was the anticipation of it keeping me awake. Then, the hotel room. But last night I couldn't fall asleep in my own bed. There were no loud noises. It was a regular peaceful night with all of my regular comforts in place. Not being able to fall asleep is new for me. These past few nights, I haven't wanted to fall asleep. I keep myself up reading, going on the computer, writing, laundry- anything to keep myself awake. I am not sure where it's coming from, but I would like to stop. I have been staying up until midnight or later and since I can never stay asleep once I do fall asleep this combination is seriously impeding me. Anyone have any thoughts to share that might help me figure this out?
 
I usually have trouble falling asleep, although my T says he thinks it's more an ADHD thing than a PTSD thing. With that in mind, have you changed anything? Medication? Eating habits? Anything you can think of? What do YOU think is keeping you awake? What's your usual routine like?

My T has made all kinds of suggestions of ways to use visualization to fall asleep. Unfortunately, "visualizing" keeps me awake. He's suggested picturing everything from floating on a cloud to swimming with dolphins. Something like that might help distract you so you can fall asleep. Maybe?

I THINK I might have finally found some things that work for me. For one thing, I'm now drinking coffee before I go to bed. That's an ADHD thing, and it seems to work. Also, I'm usually really comfortable and would like to stay in bed when it's morning and I have to get up. Now, I make a point to get off the computer at least a half hour before I go to bed and spend the time sitting quietly, trying to recapture the "feeling" of being in bed in the morning & wishing I could stay there. Seems to be helping, but I've thought that before, about other things.

My best guess would be you need to check in with yourself and find out what's different about "now" than in the past.

Oh, the other thing my T suggested, that might help you, is taking naps. I also normally wake up every couple of hours all night long. Don't have trouble going back to sleep, usually, but I wake up often. He says to take naps, no more than 20 minutes each, during the day. I've hated naps since I was a kid, but it does seem to help, when I can talk myself into doing it.

I can relate to the feeling, so I hope you find a solution that works for you!
 
With that in mind, have you changed anything? Medication? Eating habits? Anything you can think of? What do YOU think is keeping you awake? What's your usual routine like?
I don't know what is keeping me awake other than I don't want to go to sleep. I don't take any meds. I don't think my eating has changed. I usually write and then read and then sleep, but I can't seem to make myself put the book down. Usually I get sleepy within 20 minutes of reading but I have been reading for over an hour lately.


Unfortunately, "visualizing" keeps me awake. He's suggested picturing everything from floating on a cloud to swimming with dolphins. Something like that might help distract you so you can fall asleep. Maybe?
Visualizing tends to make me anxious.


My best guess would be you need to check in with yourself and find out what's different about "now" than in the past.
I figure there is something going on now that's changed, but I am not sure what it is. In the meantime, I am stuck without sleep. Tried to nap this afternoon only to have it thunder out so I couldn't sleep because of that fear. I have never mastered short naps though I know they are supposedly best. Thanks for you suggestions and response.
 
Would an audio book and shutting the lights out be helpful? I sometimes like soothing reading, like Pema Chodron talk on CD, where I'm following her for a while then just fall asleep. So instead of changing your routine, finding a way to create a sort of variation on it??

I need to medicate my way to sleep, so I can barely talk. But I certainly relate to not wanting to go to sleep. It's hard sometimes even with medication. I'm sort of looking around for a sound track with low-pitched healing bowls or gongs...not really music, but low and long-vibrating tones...sort of as soothing white noise. Haven't found the winner yet, but I'm picky about sounds.

Not sure if any of that is helpful, but I hope you can rest.
 
@JEKBreatheandBelieve if I remember correctly you have had some nightmares recently haven't you? If so, are you perhaps afraid of the nightmares?
I hope you resolve this soon.
Blessings my friend.
 
@RussH - I entertained that possibility, but I always have nightmares, that's why I never stay asleep. Falling asleep has occasionally been a problem but usually because suddenly the dark has become too scary. That's not it. This is different and I don't know what it is.
 
I call it "waiting for the Boom".

There is literally no reason for me to be awake, and yet, there I am. Waiting. Wait go for something to happen. Waiting. Still waiting.

Once I recognize that's what I'm doing, I can usually knock it off. But it usually takes me a bit to realize that's what is going on.

______

I have other reasons why I don't sleep, as well. Incoming panic attacks (there's a metal tase in the back of my throat ...aka adrenaline rising), pig headedness (putting off nightmares/ enjoying not being afraid), ADHD distraction (it is absolutely imperative I find out if Vikings used this axe blade before 700ad), etc. They all get dealt wih differently. So I generally have to pay attention as to why I'm awake this time.
 
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It's raining heavily and I know the thunder is coming...again. There have been distant rumbles all afternoon. I saw a photo of a HUGE bolt of lightning earlier. It was right down the road from me. It had not helped to calm me at all. At least I will know what is keeping me awake tonight.
 
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