ILoveLife
MyPTSD Pro
T said it's CPTSD for sure that triggered all my mental disorders, it's so inconclusive for lack of research that they don't even know what to diagnose me, and that's fine. I don't even care anymore about diagnoses.
He gave me coping mechanisms to take home, because I've been feeling depressed and suicidal. Not actively suicidal, passive suicidal, just thoughts. The mechanisms do work, I feel slightly better, but the intrusive thoughts from OCD and the "What if I turn out just like my parents?" thoughts, and the shameful thoughts about my past decisions all came crumbling down on me.
I know I can't keep relying on T for emotional backup, that I need to face this head on and by myself, but it's getting really difficult. Lost a friend because he couldn't understand why I can't just "let it go" and "move on", and he was a very close friend, maybe one of the only ones who I thought could really understand. I'm not even a person to complain much, so I just turned my back on that friendship, I don't need that kind of attitude.
I think this is the first time in my life when I'm really facing this without escaping through drugs or alcohol and pretending everything is fine. So the struggle is very real.
Anyone got through this and has any positive feedback, as is it worth it to remember all the crap from childhood to feel better?
Is it really true that it gets worse before it gets better?
Thanks in advance.
He gave me coping mechanisms to take home, because I've been feeling depressed and suicidal. Not actively suicidal, passive suicidal, just thoughts. The mechanisms do work, I feel slightly better, but the intrusive thoughts from OCD and the "What if I turn out just like my parents?" thoughts, and the shameful thoughts about my past decisions all came crumbling down on me.
I know I can't keep relying on T for emotional backup, that I need to face this head on and by myself, but it's getting really difficult. Lost a friend because he couldn't understand why I can't just "let it go" and "move on", and he was a very close friend, maybe one of the only ones who I thought could really understand. I'm not even a person to complain much, so I just turned my back on that friendship, I don't need that kind of attitude.
I think this is the first time in my life when I'm really facing this without escaping through drugs or alcohol and pretending everything is fine. So the struggle is very real.
Anyone got through this and has any positive feedback, as is it worth it to remember all the crap from childhood to feel better?
Is it really true that it gets worse before it gets better?
Thanks in advance.