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Not Sure Why I Do What I Do

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Well my therapist says that I have replaced the feeling of being in combat with cheating on my wife. The danger of it all ya know. So long story short I have cheated on my wife for the last three years with this same woman. The OW and I have broken up off and on and I have tried to recommit to my spouse but have been unable to. I am in the process of getting back with the other woman and have been seriously thinking about asking my wife for a divorce to just spare her from all this. I know most of you will judge me for having an affair and by all means that's your prerogative. Just wondering if anyone else has had an issue with being faithful to their spouse since they returned from combat?
 
Nobodies perfect, but you gotta learn to resist the temptations of the wicked.
 
Look into your heart, not your mind, or your prick. Who is going to be the best friend among them? Who is going to support you when you are down and dirty, crying in the mud over lost buddies, and blood? Which one will hang with you, and love your guts? Laying all guilt and false assumptions aside. The therapist is crazy for telling you something like that.

You had an affair period. It is awful isn't it? From great pleasure to sitting alone and wondering who is next? And that lonely feeling is still there when one or the other is not around........I have been there but I was the one being cheated.

Forgive yourself. Ask for forgiveness from both of them, no matter who you choose. Go to your heart and decide which one is going to stick with you while you fight the beast. That is what is killing you.

And think about getting another therapist. Freud died a long time ago. My .02
 
I would agree with @vikingr24. And for the record, people have extramarital relationships all the time. Yes there is a sense of excitement I'm sure. Something new and different. You don't need to have PTSD to have and extramarital affair. The therapist must have a fresh new DSM V manual. It could be something simple as...You are no longer happy or in love with your wife anymore. People fall out of love. It happens. Sometimes they never were genuinely in love.

You need to begin to ask yourself, if one realizes you have issues with fidelity, don't you think she'll question your actions with her eventually? These problems usually show a pattern.

But...You need to break the cycle. I mean...I know how stressed I get trying to keep one woman happy. The stress isn't helping your PTSD. AT ALL.
 
We all do what we think is right or good for us at the time. Unfortunetely I believe cheating will get you into more stress than you already have and you don't need that.

I'm considering leaving my wife who I just married 3 months ago. Her family and her ex-husband keep twisting the knife. They found out I have ptsd and are creating trouble for me. It's all caused by their ignorance. They mention ptsd rage and concerns for their daughter and grandson. I have a baby on the way. She is due next month.

All the stress from her life is killing me or is gonna kill me. Her ex-husband told my step son's daycare provider that I have ptsd and he is concerned about abuse. Pisses me off that they have no clue about my disability and don't care. They are quick to judge and cause problems.

I have seriously thought about this situation and decided that going away is the best option.

I'm headed to see my counselor today and see if my perspective changes.
 
Called a fugue reaction in psychology. Running from the problem. And that's ok if it works. But usually it does not if you just pack and leave.
f*ck your wife's ex-husband. Explain to the day care provider that you have PTSD and explain the real situation with it, that rarely is there violence against others. It usually ends in suicide when the consequence cannot be resolved.
Explain to anyone who is ignorant of it. You are just giving them proof of your "craziness" by just leaving.
Let it go. Stick with it for a while and be a calm considerate person, one who does not have any PTSD rage and would never harm them.
Good idea to hit the counselor and tell him how you feel. I just fired my therapist after years. She just said some things about my marriage that I thought were way over the top for a therapist to say to me. I think I found a better one and I am really stressed now too. We have a habit of what "they" call "worry." It's really called heightened awareness. Anxiety and depression too.But you watch things more than other people. In some ways, you are still back at war. Try and breath and just let them out of your mind. Make your own decisions after careful thought. My .02 . .
 
My gf actually wrote a book about Combat Vets and sexual relationships. From the research she did she found out that it is not uncommon for a Combat Vet to cheat. She also found a bunch of other stuff out regarding Combat Vets and sex as well. Poor Me. She's got me all figured out. She thinks. Lol. You should read her book. It's free on Amazon right now. If you're interested, I'll inbox you the link.
 
I wonder if she correlated the rate of cheating with the national average. I will bet it varies by region and other demographics more than by past history. Did she check for green eyes as opposed to blue? It is no doubt that men cheat more than women but women do cheat. I could look it up but it is not worth it. I do not think men with PTSD cheat anymore than other men. Maybe because they were military and away from women for so long. There are a lot of factors to consider outside the hypothesis you are trying to test. Called the Heusenberg principle.

http://www.military.com/spouse/relationships/ms-vicki-5-ways-you-help-him-cheat.html
 
I wonder if she correlated the rate of cheating with the national average. I will bet it varies by region and other demographics more than by past history. Did she check for green eyes as opposed to blue? It is no doubt that men cheat more than women but women do cheat. I could look it up but it is not worth it. I do not think men with PTSD cheat anymore than other men. Maybe because they were military and away from women for so long. There are a lot of factors to consider outside the hypothesis you are trying to test. Called the Heusenberg principle.

http://www.military.com/spouse/relationships/ms-vicki-5-ways-you-help-him-cheat.html
I'd though of sever of the very same things.

I also wonder how our moral decay also effects things these this day of age.

Hell, I know I was with a lot of women and part of it was PTSD only because 10 years of my life was numb from booze and anger. Seemed like the things to do.
 
Don't know your age, Grizz, but everyone has been complaining about the "moral decay" of America since Washington.

My era was the 60's and I can tell you, I still wonder how we made it through those times. Drugs, sex, alcohol, riots, 3 assassinations in one decade.

And this was before Vietnam started bringing home more and more with PTSD.

I have years of experience as a statistician and behavioral science. I want to see the correlations here, including the null hypothesis that say other cohorts of warriors were studied as well as those who were not warriors. As you say, what were the mores at the time. Free love was the mantra of the 60's. Lots of questions to be asked.
 
Don't know your age, Grizz, but everyone has been complaining about the "moral decay" of America since Washington.

My era was the 60's and I can tell you, I still wonder how we made it through those times. Drugs, sex, alcohol, riots, 3 assassinations in one decade.

And this was before Vietnam started bringing home more and more with PTSD.

I have years of experience as a statistician and behavioral science. I want to see the correlations here, including the null hypothesis that say other cohorts of warriors were studied as well as those who were not warriors. As you say, what were the mores at the time. Free love was the mantra of the 60's. Lots of questions to be asked.

You are right @vikingr24. I got a kick out of listening to my 92 yr old grandmother telling me who was screwing who back during WWII.

Maybe our biggest issue is the amount of info which flows. We know everything or can learn very quick. Very valid points you brought up that us young ones don't consider I'm only 47.

Maybe I only feel this way because I've witnessed increases in moral decay in my city. Crime and drugs are very bad. We lead the nation in drug OD. But we also have limited economic opportunities.
 
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