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Relationship Now In Ptsd Treatment Now He Doesn't Want To Be Married

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Trici2525

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After my Husbands two tour to Iraq he let me know he was in a year long affair during his tour and he was not coming home and staying behind with her... Well fast forward 3 years divorced.... And now remarried TO EACH OTHER AGAIN he stopped drinking starting attending church and came back to me and our two children.... Things have been rocky now that a year ago he was diagnosed with PTSD ... And recently got rated 70% disabled for PTSD.... He is seeking treatment once a week through the VA... His therapist told me to stay committed because it was going to get tough... Well three months into treatment he has flushed all meds down the toilet got a combat badge tattoo placed an ARMY sticker on his truck (was anti ARMY prior) and said we fight too much have nothing in common only wants to take care of the kids and does not want to be married any more and is now looking for his own place.... I am totally confused this Man is not my Husband.... The VA marriage counsellor says despite of his rejection that he is suffering.... I am strong in my faith and won't give up although it feels the choice has been made

He claims now off meds he is more confident and knows what he wants.... Although we have gone through the divorce I would have never thought he would pull this again!!

Help any advise!?!?!
 
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Of course he is suffering, but so are you. He strayed once, but you forgave him eventually and took him back. Now he is saying he doesn't want to be there. He has flushed his meds. He is angry, he is hurting, he is in denial, but how much of this can you handle? Long ago, by having that affair, he showed his commitment to you and his vows that he took at the same time as you did. He had a choice then.

If you look around here on the site, those couples that stand a chance when the the sufferer is threatening to leave, are those where the sufferer feels they are not worthy of their supporter, they do not feel loveable, among other things. But they still voice caring about their supporters.

Your guy seems to be very clear in what he wants. He's done it once to you by having the affair. Get thee to a lawyer and find out your rights. Find some independent counselling of your own.

It is a long tough road with PTSD, and make no mistake, that even when it gets better, it is always hard. No one's heart can take the constant pushing away, the "leaving" as he is doing, and then being reeled back in, as has already been done to you, not for long, and make it out unscathed themselves. If he moves out, take that time to regroup yourself, decide what is best for you and your children, who need to be the most important factors in both your lives right now. Staying together is sometimes not the best, if as you say, there is constant fighting and whatever else goes with it.

I am so sorry for what you are going through. Protect yourself, both legally and emotionally. You deserve to be treated well, with respect and with love. Sometimes that is best done on your own. Good luck.
 
Thanks so much... I think that the confusing part is that he says he loves me to death but just does not want to be married anymore... The past three years I have never felt that... I knew it wasn't perfect but never that he would just leave again... I really don't feel as if he is the man from even last month... He has stated that he still wants to go on our family vacation in Sept.... So confusing it looks like him yet is a cold hearted creature.... I need to lean on God and your right take care of me and my babies.... Thanks again for your time in responding!!! Be blessed!!!
 
I need to lean on God and your right take care of me and my babies

I have a wife who wanted to get a divorce and filed the papers a few months ago. The only happiness I had was in my devotions and reading the Bible while I was getting shut out from my wife. Just last week my wife came around and is no longer showing signs of grieving or depression. It was almost like a light switch getting turned on and off. I feel that it was answered prayer and it was all God doing His works in our hearts. My marriage is better...but this weekend it has taken a turn. I know that I need my Faith to be my priority. I just wanted share this with you since most forum posts seem to be doom and gloom while you are waiting to see what happens with PTSD sufferers.

I will be praying for you and your marriage and family.

P.S. - the divorce was put off and we are trying to repair the marriage better than before.
 
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